Our indelible pasts|✔

seventeen - bryson

SANDRA'S BEEN GONE the whole week and so has my will to live. And it's not because of some bullshit Shakespeare thing–okay that's just partly why. It's because she's also been MIA. I know she's going through a rough time right now but that's exactly the problem. There's nothing I can do to take away her pain and bring her back to the bubbly Sandra everyone knows and loves. And, she's not letting me.

We've only talked once since she left, but it was on text. The sound of her British accent that has refused to leave her even after three years of living in the states, has been left unheard to my ears for one too many days now. I just miss her.

Mason and Noah noticed my sour mood and practically dragged me out of the apartment today to meet with Nia and her friends for lunch.

"Why do you do this to yourself?" Noah asks me as he stops at a red light.

"Do what?"

"That thing where you blame yourself for everything that isn't your fault." Mason says it like it's the most obvious thing about me and Noah agrees with him. "It's not your fault she died and that Sandra is finding it difficult to come to terms with it. So don't beat yourself up over it."

"Yeah." Noah says. "She's grieving, it's normal. She'll be okay. And you being all gloom about something that's out of your control won't do anything to help her be okay. She obviously needs space and time to deal with it, so let it be. And besides, she'll be back home by like next weekend and then you'll be able to be there for her. After she's had some time away."

They're right, and I've been knowing it for some time too. If space is what she needs right now, I'll give it to her. I just don't know how long I can continue to do that. It's not necessarily easy.

"Why are we always the ones giving top notch love advice yet we're the ones that fail miserably when it comes to our own love lives?"

"Mason you're love life is non-existent because you're obsessed with a girl that's into girls." I laugh, glad to talk about someone other than Sandra.

"How many times do I have to tell you guys, I'm not obsessed with her. She's just-"

"Please don't finish that statement." Noah interrupts and I burst out laughing.

"You don't even know what I was going to say."

"I know enough about you and your...weird obsession." Noah says.

I allow myself to let go and go back to being a fool with my friends. Like Noah said, me being down won't do anything to help her.

When we enter a gated community, Mason voices my thoughts. "Kiana lives here?"

Noah nods as he drives past a few apartment buildings.

"And I thought you were rich." Mason's whisper makes both Noah and I snicker.

Noah soon finds a parking spot and we follow him as he walks towards an elevator.

"The elevator has music?" I resist the urge to slap Mason as he chimes.

"I am never taking you anywhere again."

Mason shoots a glare at Noah. "You're so judgmental."

Noah and Mason continue their usual bickering as I get a text from Sandra.

Sandra: Call tonight?

Grinning at my phone, I send a reply. I'll finally get to hear her voice again.

The elevator door opens and Noah rushes out, eager to be far from Mason.

"Something tells me Noah's very close to filing a restraining order against you." I laugh as Noah stops at a door and presses the doorbell.

"You have no idea." Noah sighs.

"I think he just needs to go for anger management classes." Mason whispers to me and Noah flips him the middle finger, refusing to face him.

Lord knows how these two haven't killed each other yet.

"The boys are here!" An excited Nia shouts into the apartment after she opens the door.

She's about to let us in, but then she suddenly blocks the entrance straightening her back in an attempt to give off an authoritative manner.

Before she can ask, Mason lifts the bag in his hands. "Yes, we brought the drinks."

Walking into the living room, I immediately know that this is definitely no ordinary college student's apartment. The soft beige walls have museum-style-paintings hanged in various spots and there's a lantern shaped chandelier that looks like it's made out of real gold in the middle of the room. This room is three times the size of all the rooms I've ever slept in. And this is just the living room.

"Kiana you didn't tell me you were this rich!" Mason gushes at her and I can't help but roll my eyes. I don't blame him though, this place is definitely the kind of place only a rich person would live in.