Lost and Insecure

Chapter 20

Since being at home, Meredith was starting to realize how much she couldn't do without her arms. And it was really getting to her. Her brain still thought the same.

"Mer, do you want to get up? Have coffee?" Derek asked as they laid in bed. Meredith shook her head. "Do you want me to bring some up here?" He asked.

Meredith shook her head. She didn't want to talk anymore. She sounded like an idiot, and Derek didn't deserve that.

"Okay, well im going to get some coffee. Do you...do you want me to come back up or leave you alone for a while?" Derek asked, sensing her mood. This was what Bailey was talking about.

"Lone. Alone." Meredith responded quietly. Derek nodded and went downstairs, leaving Meredith to think about all she couldn't do.

She couldn't go to the bathroom herself. She couldn't shower herself. Couldn't make a cup of coffee herself. Sure, Peter was working on her and slowly the feeling was returning , but she still couldn't lift up her arms.

And Derek. Poor Derek. He had to do everything for her. Instead of being her husband, it was like he had to be her care taker now. And she didn't want him
To have to deal with that.

Derek brewed some coffee and went and sat on the couch. He picked up his phone and dialed baileys number. He needed some advice as to how to help Meredith.

"What is it Shepherd?" Baileys voice filtered through the air. "Good morning to you too, Bailey. Merediths...doing that regressing thing, I think, and I don't know how to help her." Derek explained.

He heard her sigh through the phone. "You just have to talk to her. Tell her she'll regain all the abilities she used to do." She responded, the exhaustion evident in her voice.

"Okay. Thanks Bailey." Derek said gratefully. "Yeah. See ya." Bailey replied before hanging up the phone. Derek decided to grab some of Merediths favorite movies and walk back upstairs.

He knocked on the door to not scare her and entered. "Hey." He said with a smile, climbing back into bed with her.

"So, I brought up some movies to watch. We have Pitch Perfect, Bad Moms, and the Hunger Games." He said with a grin.

Meredith flashed a small smile, a smile that Derek knew was fake. "Mer, talk to me. I know somethings bothering you." Derek said softly, titling her chin to meet her eyes.

"I....do can't anything. B-before...could everything do." She said sadly. "Your brain is relearning how to do everything. And your arms will get there with time. In the meantime, I'm happy to help you." Derek replied.

"Don't...don't obligation." Meredith admitted. "You're not an obligation to me, Mer. You're my wife. In sickness and in health. I love you, and honeslty, I like helping you." Derek said honeslty.

"No....no leave me?" She asked timidly. "Oh, Mer. I will never leave you. Ever." He replied. Meredith nodded. She believed him. "P-pitch?" She asked, a smile growing on her lips.

"Sure." He replied

•••

After watching pitch perfect, Meredith decided to get up. "Walk?" She asked hopefully. Derek smiled and nodded. "Sure. I'll grab your shoes." He replied

Derek grabbed his and her shoes and went back to the kitchen. Meredith was sitting on a stool, waiting for him. He strapped on her sneakers and his and they left the house.

"Out nice." Meredith commented as her and Derek walked down the street, hand in hand. "It is nice out. That's pretty rare in Seattle, isnt it?" Derek asked with a chuckle.

Meredith sighed and looked at Derek. "Derek...back home?" She asked. "You okay? You feeling okay?" He asked in concern.

She nodded. "Hungry." She replied with a blush. Derek smiled. "Well, we can't let you starve, can we?" He asked with a smirk.

They walked back to the house and Meredith collapsed on the couch when she went inside. "Let's do your exercises after lunch." Derek said casually.

"Derek." Meredith whined. She hated doing her exercises, it just reminded her of how little she could move her arms and it pissed her off.

"Mer." Derek warned. "Fine." Meredith said, stompping off upstairs. Derek chuckled at her mood. "I'll make you a grilled cheese and some soup and bring it up soon." He called up.

Carolyn Shepherd entered the kitchen. She had been trying to lay low and stay out of her son and his wife's way, just in case.

"Hey mom. Where have you been?" Derek asked as he cooked. "In my room. Are you sure you both want me here? I don't want to be an imposition." Carolyn asked.

"Of course. You've been a great help. Why?" He replied. "It seems like you don't need me." She answered. "I myself don't need you. But I think Meredith does. It may help her to have a motherly figure with her when she gets sick of me" Derek said with a laugh.

"How's she doing?" Carolyn asked. "She's okay. She's starting to realize all the things she can't do, which she's not happy about, but she's okay. She's upstairs now because she was pissed that I said we have to do her exercises." Derek explained.

"Poor girl. Where did you guys go this morning?" Carolyn asked. She heard the door open and close this morning.

"Mer wanted to go for a walk, so we went down the street for a little while." Derek replied, putting the grilled cheese on a plate.

"Let me bring this up for Mer and I'll be back down." Derek said with a smile.

He went back upstairs and knocked on the door. "Hey Mer." He said, walking over to the bed she was laying in. "Food!" Meredith exclaimed happily as Derek put the tray on her lap.

"Thank Derek." She said as kissed her forehead. "No problem. Do you mind if I go talk to my mom for a few minutes?" He asked.

"Go. Tv." Meredith said. "Okay. Love you." Derek replied.

"Love too."

Hey guys! Sorry for the short chapter I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and hope your all doing well. As always, if you have any suggestions or ideas for future chapters let me know. Thanks for reading and I hope your all doing well!!