Lost and Insecure

Chapter 5

"Just wait outside and I'll make sure she's okay with seeing you." Derek said to Lexie before entering the room.

"De-k!" Meredith exclaimed with a smile. "Hey." Derek replied, kissing her cheek. "Where....where go?" She asked.

"Food, remember? I also bumped into Lexie." Derek said. "L-lex?" Meredith asked. "Yes. You know who she is, right?"

"S-sister." She replied. Derek smiled and nodded. "She's outside. Do you want to see her?" He asked. Meredith nodded. "Yes, yes. Want see Lex." She grinned.

Derek went to the door and opened it for Lexie. "Come on in." He said.

"Mer?" Lexie asked timidly as she walked into the room. "Lex." Meredith whispered as she grabbed dereks shirt. "H-how are you feeling?" Lexie asked quietly, getting closer to her bed.

"Okay. Me...okay." She answered. "I'm so sorry, Mer." The younger Grey sister said. "What?" Meredith asked with a frown. "I'm sorry. It's all my fault." Lexie whimpered.

"Fault? Domt....what?" Meredith asked in confusion.

"Lexie thinks it's her fault for all...this." Derek explained. "No...no fault. No lex fault." Meredith stammered. "It is. I pushed you to do this." Lexie said with tears in her eyes.

"No. No fault lex." Meredith replied sternly.

"Thatch? How?"

"How is he?" Lexie guessed. Meredith smiled and nodded. "He's good. His labs all came back good and he's not rejecting the liver." She replied, relief in her tone.

Meredith frowned for a moment and then smiled, but it didn't go unseen by Derek. "S'good." Meredith whispered as she yawned. "I'll go see dad. I'll see ylu later, Mer." Lexie said before leaving.

"You okay?" Derek asked gently.

"Yeah." Meredith whispeed. "Mer, you can talk to me." He said. "I tired." She said. Derek sighed. "You don't want to eat?" He tried. "Tired." Meredith replied, closing her eyes. She wasn't tired. But she didnt want to be awake at this time.

"Derek? Can you...if she's asleep, can you help tell dad with me? I don't...I don't know how to do this." Lexie asked as she popped her head into the room.

•••

Lexie took a deep breath before her and Derek turned into thatchers room. "Hi dad." Lexie said softly as she grabbed his hand while Derek hung back.

Currently, Derek was trying hard not to snap and punch the man in the bed.

"Hi Lexie. Uh...hi..." thatcher trailed off.

"Derek Shepherd." Derek supplied. "Right. Merediths husband, right?" Thatcher asked. "Yes." Derek replied.

"Dad...we have to talk." Lexie started. "How's Meredith doing?" Thatcher asked. "Dad..." Lexie trailed off.

"What happened?" The man asked. "The surgery went well. There was a complication in merediths surgery, and her heart stopped for almost 13 minutes." She whispered.

Thatcher knew what this meant. After years of living with Ellis, he knew quite a bit of medical terminology. "Is she alive?" He asked quietly, feeling bad for the man in fromt of him.

"She's alive. But she has brain damage." Derek said angrily. "She...how bad?" Thatcher stammered. "She can't really speak. She can't move her arms. Some memory loss." Derek replied.

"I...I'm so sorry." Thatcher whispered.

"She did this to help you, to save your life, and somehow she gets hurt in the process." Derek spat out. "Derek." Lexie murmured.

"I'm sorry." He said. "Sorry isn't gonna bring my wife speech back. She's....she already won't talk to me. I...I have to go. I can't be here with you." Derek said before leaving the room.

"Is it...is it bad?" Thatcher asked Lexie. "I saw her earlier, dad. She can barely talk. It's hard to understand her. She can't move her arms at all." She replied.

"Oh god." Thatcher breathed.

•••

Meredith woke up alone. And hungry. Derek had gotten her food, but put it on the table across the room.

Meredith decided to get out of bed, ignoring the pain in her stomach. She got to the table, and tried to pick up the bag, which would be difficult considering she could really move her arms.

"Meredith Grey! What are you doing out of bed?" Miranda Bailey asked as she came into the room. "Bail?" Meredith questioned.

"Yes, it's me. Bailey. Meredith, you should be out of bed." Bailey said gently.

"Me food." Meredith nodded, confused. "I know. You just had surgery only a few days ago. You have to rest." Bailey replied.

"But..." Meredith trailed off.

"Let's get you back in to bed and you can eat." She said. Meredith let Bailey guide her back to bed and climbed in. "I'm gonna check your incision to make sure you didn't jostle anything."

Bailey lifted up her gown and frowned at the red on her stomach. "Looks like you popped a stitch or two, Grey." She said as she pressed the call button.

"S-sorry." Meredith whimpered, tears pooling in her eyes. "Hey, don't cry. It's okay. I'll just fix it right up, okay?" Bailey soothed as a nurse and Derek came in.

"What's going on?" Derek asked concerned. "Calm down, Shepherd. She just popped a stitch." Bailey replied. "De-k, sorry." Meredith whispered.

"It's okay Mer. How did you pop the stitch?" Derek asked softly.

"Me h-hungy." Meredith replied. "Did you get up to get the bag?" Derek asked knowingly. Meredith nodded ashamed. "It's okay, Mer. But after surgery you have to rest, okay? No getting up anymore. You can ask me." He whispered.

"Okay." She replied as Bailey finished her stitches. "All better Grey. No more getting up, alright?" She asked. "Okay." Meredith answered.

Once Bailey left, Derek got Merediths food ready. "De-k?" She asked. "Yeah?"

"Meredith help." She said shyly. "Of course." Derek said as he fed her.

"Thank Derek." Meredith replied after she finished eating. Derek smiled when she pronounced his name correctly. "It's my pleasure. I love you." He replied softly.

"Luh too." She replied, leaning into his arms as he pressed a kiss to her head.

Hey guys!! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and hope your all doing well. If you guys have any suggestions for future chapters feel free to drop them! Thank you all for reading!