Lost and Insecure

Chapter 4

Lexie woke up with a startle as Bailey came and shook her awake. "Wha? How...how did it go?" Lexie asked from marks arms.

Bailey put on a fake smile. "Your father is just fine. The surgery went perfectly. You can see him in recovery." She said.

Lexie breathed a sigh of relief, but sensed Bailey wasn't telling her something. "Oh, t-thank you. What about Meredith?" She replied.

Baileys expression changed, and thats when Lexie and Mark both got concerned. "Shes...how about we go talk somewhere private?" Bailey suggested.

"W-wait. What happened? Is she okay?" Lexie asked with a frown. "I'll explain. Let's go." Bailey said.

They went to an empty room and sat down. "Bailey, what happened?" Mark asked, holding Lexie's hand. "The liver donation went smoothly until her hepatic artery was nicked. Meredith coded and....we couldn't get her back for a long time." She said slowly.

"How long?" Lexie demanded. "Lexie..." Bailey breathed. "How long!?" She asked forcefully. "Almost 13 minutes." Bailey said softly.

"13 minutes....that's...that's a long time." Lexie said with wide eyes. "Does she....has she woken up?" Mark asked. Bailey nodded. "She has. But she's showing...severe neurological issues." Bailey said, swallowing thickly.

"Neurological issues....like what?" Lexie asked. The guilt was rising. She forced Meredith into this. "She's having trouble speaking. And I heard she has quite a bit of muscle weakness as well." Bailey said gently.

"Oh..oh god." Lexie gasped, body shaking with sobs. "She'll be okay. She's Meredith Grey. She won't go down without a fight." Mark said reassuringly. "Dereks with her in room 1260. Check with him first and see if she's ready to see people." Bailey said before leaving.

•••

Derek stayed awake as his wife slept in his arms. The ICU was a scary place. He had, of course been in here with patients, but never with a family member.

Meredith shifted in his arms and slowly woke up. "Hey." Derek whispered. "H-hi." Meredith replied. "How are you feeling?" He asked.

"H-hurt. Bran."

"I know your brain is hurt." He said gently. A knock at the door nearly made Meredith jump out of her skin. "It's okay. It's okay." Derek murmered as the door opened.

A short, brunette doctor walked in. "Hi. My name is Dr Welsh. Dr Nelson referred me to Meredith." She said with a grin.

Meredith buried her head in dereks chest and gulped. "I'm, uh, Derek Shepherd. This is my wife, Meredith." Derek introduced himself with a smile.

"Hi Meredith. I'm a neurologist. I specialize in cases like yours." Dr Welsh said. Meredith kept her head away. "Can you introduce yourself for me?" She asked.

"It's okay. It's just your doctor." Derek whispered. Meredith finally peeled her face away from dereks chest and looked up at her.

Dr Welsh gave a warm, encouraging smile. "I Mer. M-Meredith." She said timidly. "Good job. It's nice to meet you, Meredith." Dr Welsh said.

Meredith gave a small smile and looked back away. "So, Meredith. Can you tell me what's going on?" The doctor asked. "Uh..." Meredith trailed off.

"You got it." Derek encouraged. "Talk can't. Um...arm." Meredith said quietly. "Having trouble speaking. Can you try to lift your arm for me?" Dr Welsh said, jotting down notes.

"Both arms." Derek corrected. Meredith shook her head slowly, wincing as she tried. "Okay. That's okay." Dr Welsh said.

"Derek, can I talk outside with you for a moment?" Dr Welsh asked. He nodded and tried to get out of bed. "De-k." Meredith whimpered. "I'll be back, I promise." He said.

Derek stepped outside of the room with Dr Welsh. "So, it's clear Meredith has brocas aphasia, as I'm sure you know. And muscle weakness is a symptom of brain damage as well. But, the good thing is we can work on it." Dr Welsh explained.

"Well, I'm a neurosurgeon so I do understand that." Derek said as he looked at his wife. "Good. So that means you'll know about therapies and all that. We don't know where is, mentally right now." Welsh said.

"I know." Derek breathed. "What's the next step here?" He asked.

"Well, she's not allowed to start therapy or get out of bed until she recovers from her surgery, which does take time since it was a major one. In the meantime, I'll work on her with simple things to see where she's at physically and mentally, and possibly introduce her to her therapists." Dr Welsh explained.

"Okay." He said with a sigh. "De-de-k!" A voice yelled from inside the room. "Go. We'll talk more later." Welsh said softly.

Derek went into Merediths room and smiled. "Hey." He said. "I.....fud." Meredith said. "Fud?" Derek asked. Meredith swallowed. "Me." She said.

"Mer...I....you want fudge?" Derek asked with a frown. "N-no." Meredith replied, face getting red. "B-bell." Meredith tried again. "Does your belly hurt? Your tummy?" Derek struggled.

"N-no!" Meredith yelled, banging her head against the bed. "Hey, don't do that. Try again. Slow." Derek said, slipping behind her so she wouldn't hit her head again.

"Me. Ate." She said. "You're hungry?" Derek guessed, praying he was right so she wouldn't feel dumb. Meredith smiled. "Yea. Yea. Hu-hungy." She said.

Derek breathed a sigh of relief. "I'll go get you some food. Do you want anything specific ?" Derek asked. Merediths brow furrowed. "Don't...get." Meredith whispered. "Okay. I'll make sure you get soemtning you like." Derek said with a smile.

He left the room and went down to the cafeteria. As he walked, Lexie and Mark stopped him. "Derek, I'm so sorry. This never would've happened if...." Lexie said, tears in her eyes.

Derek held back his tears as well. "It's not your fault, lex." He said, hugging his sister in law. "It is. I-I forced her into this. It's my fault." Lexie said. "It's not. It's not. It was Merediths choice." Derek replied softly.

"Does your father know?" He asked. "N-not yet. I just found out...Derek I'm so sorry." Lexie said. "Hey, how about you come with me to her room? She's been asking about you." Derek said.

"She-she has? She wanted to see me?" Lexie breathed. "Yes. She's-shes still Mer, even if she's having trouble talking. Let's go see her." Derek replied. Lexie nodded and smiled slightly.

Hey guys!! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and hope your all doing well. If you guys have any suggestions for future chapters feel free to drop them! Thank you all for reading!