Lost and Insecure

Chapter 16

The next morning, Derek had asked everyone if they wanted to come and talk for a little, per Merediths request.

Everyone said yes, and said they would come in when they had some free time. "Mer? Alex and Cristina and mark and Lexie should be coming in today at some point." Derek said with a smile.

"Come? Me see?" Meredith asked, her face lighting up. "Yeah, they want to see you. They said they'd come when they have free time." Derek explained.

"Me ready. Derek help ready." She said. "I can help you get ready. Want to take a shower?" He offered. Meredith nodded.

"Umm...Meredith...me need help." She said shyly. Derek smiled. "I'll help you. I love seeing you naked and wet." He smirked.

Meredith blushed and got out of bed with Derek's help. Derek didn't know where Merediths memory was sexually or physically intimate, but he had a feeling she still knew what it was.

Derek helped Meredith undress and stepped into the shower. Derek joined her and wrapped his arms around her. "Me...me showers miss you." Meredith said softly.

"I missed showers with you too, Mer." Derek smiled as the water pelted down on them. Derek willed his body to control himself, to not freak her out of anything.

Derek started first by washing her body. Meredith sighed in pleasure as she felt his hands. Derek swallowed thickly, but he knew he wouldn't be able to control what his body did.

"Derek..." Meredith whispered, looking at his crotch. "I know. I'm sorry. I can't help it." Derek said, face slightly red in embarrassment.

"Umm..." she said, looking into his eyes. "I...you know what it is, right?" Derek asked. "S-sex?" Meredith guessed.

Derek smiled and nodded. "Yeah. I'm just...your wet and naked and I'm washing you and it's...you're gorgeous. My body's just doing...it's thing." Derek explained.

Meredith blushed and let her eyes travel down once more, a look Derek recognized in her eyes. "Me...Meredith help?" She asked in a shy voice.

"Mer, I don't think you can." Derek said softly. "It's okay. It'll go away if I ignore it long enough."

"But..." Meredith trailed off, disappointed that she couldn't move her arms. "It's okay. I don't expect anything. It's okay." Derek soothed, massaging shampoo into her scalp.

Meredith frowned but nodded and let Derek finish bathing her.

•••

About an hour later after a long process of Meredith getting dressed, she was back in her bed and in nice, clean clothes.

"Look good?" Meredith asked. "You look beautiful." Derek replied, leaning over and kissing her lips. Meredith deepened the kiss without really knowing what she was doing.

Derek pulled away and smiled. "Mm." He said in satisfaction. "Right did?" She asked with a blush. "Definetely right. Feel free to do that anytime you want." Derek replied with a smile as a knock at the door turned them.

Derek looked to Meredith, and nodded. "Come in!" He yelled. In came Lexie and mark first. "Hi Mer. Hey Derek." Lexie said, smiling as she walked in.

"Lex hi. Mark hi." Meredith replied. She was happy her friends and family still wanted to see her. "How's it going Big Grey?" Mark asked.

"Me good. Home want." Meredith replied. "Has Bailey talked about discharging you yet?" Lexis asked. Meredith shook her head.

"I'll talk to her later today. She's cleared for everything physically, so I don't think that's a problem." Derek said.

"Thatch?" Meredith asked suddenly, timidly. Meredith was still kind of scared around him after what he did, but he was Lexie's dad and he had to be okay. For Lexie's sake.

"He's doing great. He was discharged last week, and he's recovering at home." She replied, the relief evident in her eyes.

"Good." Meredith said.

"You guys need anything? How long has it been since you've been home?" Mark asked. "Mer hasn't been Home since, and I was home for a little bit the other day." Derek explained.

"Me home? Meredith home?" Meredith asked hopefully. "I'll talk to Bailey soon. It's just a little hard with therapy and such." Derek soothed.

They talked for a little while before they left, and Alex and Cristina came in.

"Hey Mer, how's it going?" Cristina asked as she plopped down into a chair. "Good." She replied. "Mer? Let Yang talk to you. I'm sick of hearing her crap about Hunt. I don't know what to say, that's girl territory right there." Alex said.

Cristina slapped his arm and rolled her eyes. "What?" Alex exclaimed. Meredith smiled at her friends antics. "Talk." Meredith said

•••

After a long time of cristina ranting and Alex throwing in the occasional dirty comment, Meredith fell asleep.

They all left, and Derek quietly followed to go talk to Bailey. "Miranda!" Derek called as he saw the short woman walking down the hall.

"What is it, Shepherd?" Bailey asked, exhaustion in her eyes. "I just wanted to ask you about Merediths discharge. She's been wanting to go home and I don't know what to tell her." Derek explained.

Bailey sighed. "Well, physically, she's been ready to go home for a while now, but mentally, Id have to talk to her therapists about that." She replied.

"So how long? Ballpark?" Derek asked. "Maybe a week, two weeks? I really don't know how her therapies are going. Tell me Shepherd, do you think she's ready to be at Home? She'll need someone with her at all times." Bailey asked honestly.

"I...think she's getting there." Derek replied after a moment of hesitance. "Okay. Ill talk to everyone tomorrow and discuss it. But now, I'm going home and I'm going to sleep." Bailey said with a sigh.

"Goodnight." Derek said with a sigh.

As much as he desperately wanted Meredith home, he honestly didn't know if she was ready.

But he hoped she was.

Hey guys! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and hope your all doing well. As always, if you have any suggestions or ideas for future chapters let me know. Thanks for reading and I hope your all doing well!!