Lost and Insecure

Chapter 8

Meredith woke up the next morning to voices talking. Derek was next to her while he talked. Meredith tensed when she saw other people in the room.

"Good morning Mer." Derek said, smiling as he kissed her forehead. "Who?" Meredith whispered, curling into dereks side.

"These are your therapists. Can they introduce themselves?" He asked gently. Meredith nodded hesitantly and looked back to them.

"Hi Meredith. My name is Lauren, and I'm your speech therapist. Can you introduce yourself for me?" Lauren asked softly with a warm smile.

Meredith looked to Derek, who gave an encouraging nod. "Me....me Meredith." She whispered. Lauren smiled. "It's nice to meet you Meredith. I'll be working with you on getting some of your speech skills back for a while."

Meredith nodded. "My name is Peter. I'll be your physical therapist. I'll be working with you on your arms movement. We're going to get back that muscle strength in your arms and hopefully get them moving again." The tall blonde man said kindly.

"Me...me surgery?" Meredith asked. Peter sighed and smiled slightly. "I don't know, honestly. There's a chance though. Once I know more of where your at it'll give me a better guess." He replied.

Meredith nodded and looked to the other woman. "I'm Grace. I'm more of your cognitive therapist. I'll be working on your memory with you. It's al still there, but I'm going to help you pull it out. Except I'll be doing more of the mental stuff, not the physician." Grace explained.

"These therapists will be working with you every week." Dr Nelson announced. "How does that sound, Meredith?" Lauren asked.

"Good. Home?" She asked. Derek listened as her therapists explained everything. "Meredith, you probably won't be going home for quite some time. Not sure how long, but not for a little bit." Lauren replied gently.

"N-no home?" Meredith asked, tearing up. "Oh, mer." Derek whispered as he took her into his arms. "Home." She whispered into his neck. "We're going to go. Therapy will start soon. Derek, can we speak with you outside for a moment?" Peter asked.

Derek reluctantly pulled away from Meredith and stepped outside. "You're a neurosurgeon, right?" Lauren asked. "I am." He replied.

"Okay. Answer this question as a husband, not a doctor. Where do you think Meredith is at? Physically, mentally, cognitively." She asked.

Derek sighed. "Obviously shes having a lot of trouble speaking. Her arms don't move at all and if someone tries to it hurts her a lot to the point she starts crying. Um, her memory seems to be somewhat okay, I haven't asked her much of long term stuff. Her emotions are definetely all over the place." He explained.

"That's normal. Tomorrow, one of us will have a session with her. Over the next few days, we should get a professional assessment of where she is and we'll talk again." Grace replied.

"Okay." Derek breathed. "We know this is hell on loved ones, so make sure to take care of yourselves. We'll be in touch, Derek." Lauren said softly before all 3 of them left.

•••

Derek took a breath before walking back into Merediths room. "De-k?" Meredith asked, sounding more vulnerable than ever.

"Yes Mer?" Derek asked.

"I scared." She whispered. Derek frowned and got into the bed next to her where she immediately cuddled into his body.

"You're scared? Of what?" Questioned Derek softly as he rubbed her back gently. "Everything. Big." She replied.

"I know it feels big right now. But there's nothing to be scared of. Your going to go through therapy and kick it's ass. And before you know it, we'll be back
Home together." Derek whispered.

"Okay." Meredith replied before falling asleep in his arms.

•••

"Mom. Can you please talk to Lexie?" Mark asked as they walked the halls of the hospital. "Sure, dear. Where is she?" Carolyn asked.

"She's probably in her dads room. Right here."

They turned the corner and saw Lexie talking softly to thatcher. "Lexie." Mark said. She turned around and smiled. "Hey mark. Oh, Mrs Shepherd." Lexie said with a nervous chuckle.

"Hi Lexie." Carolyn said.

"Dad, this is dereks mom, Carolyn." Lexie introduced. "I'm Thatcher Grey." The man said kindly. "Lexie, mom here wanted to have a chat with you. Is that okay?" Mark asked.

"Uh, a-sure." Lexie stammered. She said goodbye to her father and went outside to sit down with Carolyn and mark.

"This is not your fault, lexie. Don't put it in your head that it is." Carolyn said, getting straight to the point. "It is. I forced her into this surgery. I encouraged her to save my dad, not her dad. And now she's brain damaged. It's my fault." Lexie replied sternly.

"It's not your fault, lex." Mark cut in.

"Think about it. My dad abandoned Meredith when she was what, 4? She had barely spoken to him and she only did this for me. Because she didn't want me to know how it feels to lose a father." Lexie explained.

"That doesn't make it your fault, sweetie. My husband died a long time ago. For quite some time, I blamed myself. What if I was at the store with him when he got shot? What if I had gotten there sooner to help him? But then I realized. I wasn't the one who shot him. I wasn't the one who murdered him." Carolyn said softly, grabbing the girls hand.

"Deep down, you know it's not your fault. And that will come up soon, I know it will. You just have to stop blaming yourself, because the guilt will eat you away." Carolyn said knowingly.

"She's my sister. You know, when we met, she didn't want anything to do with me. I was a constant reminder of what her life could've been. But now she did this surgery to save my dads life, for me, not for him. I love her. She's the best sister a girl could have." Lexie said, tears fuking.

"I know. Just let go of the guilt."

Hey guys!! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and hope your all doing well. If you guys have any suggestions for future chapters feel free to drop them! Thank you all for reading!