Grace |H.S.|

18 - Dark

Another one !!

Grace Woods

He was on top of me, holding both of my hands above my head. "Say it, Grace" he whispered right next to my ear "Say that you're mine" I couldn't breathe. His other hand was around my neck. He moved his head from the side of my neck, resting his forehead against mine.

I still couldn't see who it was.

I started moving my hands trying to get my wrist out of his hold. He pulled away and now I can see a glimpse of his face. The first thing I noticed was his eyes.

His green eyes.

This can't be happening. This felt so wrong. "Come on, Grace" he pressed his body against mine "You're mine, he doesn't deserve you" Harry muttered through clenched teeth. "Just say it"

"No" I yelled "Stop!" I was still squirming in his hold, trying to break free.

"You've always been mine and you will always be" his hand left my wrists trying to take off my shirt.

"No!" I yelled pushing him off of me

I opened my eyes to a cold dark room. I don't know what this place is.

"Told you, Grace" a voice said from behind me. "You're mine just have to admit it"

I turned around to face Aidan; he was holding a bloody knife. "What is happening?" I mumbled looking around. This didn't feel real.

I looked down at my hands. Blood. My hands were bloody.

I looked to my right to find out I was in Harry's bed. He was stabbed, lying in his own blood. Everything was covered in blood.

I looked back again, Aidan was no longer here.

"This is not real! This is not real! This is not real!" I was yelling those four words in repeat, hopping whatever the hell this is finally stops.

My eyes snapped open. I was still repeating those four words, trying to catch my breath. I slowly turned my head to my right. Harry was still sleeping.

He was naked but he wasn't stabbed.

Nightmares. Again.

I felt a burning ache in the back of my throat. His arm was under me. I slowly rolled out of bed. I was completely naked; I bent down to take my heels from under his bed. I found my dress next to the end of the bed. I got dressed and left his room. I saw my thong thrown in the hallway; I put it in and left his apartment without telling him or taking anything else. I just left without making any noise because I didn't want him to wake up.

It didn't hit me that I didn't take my phone or my keys until I was already in the streets. It was early in the morning maybe five or six am.

I was walking down the streets and all I could think about is Harry. It was so wrong to be there, nothing felt better than last night but that doesn't mean that it wasn't wrong. I didn't regret it though. I've never wanted something in my life more than I wanted him. I just wanted him and that was so selfish. I started feeling guilty, what if he gets hurt because of me? What if Aidan finds out? What if he gets mad because I left him for Harry?

A memory flashed through my mind from more than a year ago. A memory I tried so much to forget about. A memory Aidan did everything he could to make it disappear. Thinking about it right now made me realize a lot of things.

But I was so worried about Harry he deserves better than this. He deserves someone better than me.

I didn't know where I was going. My house is probably thirty minutes away because I don't have a car. I knew Zayn's apartment was closer so it was my next destination.

I didn't even notice when I started walking to Zayn's house I was literally shaking I swear I didn't know how to breathe for a couple of seconds but felt longer than just seconds and the sharp pain in my chest didn't help it. It was cold outside especially that I didn't have a jacket but I was getting hot. I felt like I was completely losing control over my body. I felt light-headed, he didn't answer the door and I had this sudden urge to cry but tears didn't want to come out.

This couldn't be a panic attack right? I was just overthinking.

I knew the code to the building. I took the elevator hoping he was at home. I couldn't even make it to his apartment without sweating. I don't know how many times I rang the bell, praying that he's home. My eyes were blurred. Now I'm crying, I couldn't stop crying.

Right when I lost hope the door flew open. My head was down; I brought my hand up to my waterline and wiped my tears. "Grace?" Zayn asked in a concerned tone. I'm sure I look like a mess right now. I didn't take off my makeup last night because I was so exhausted, and crying wasn't a very good thing to do after that.

I looked at him; he had that worried look on his face. I can tell that he was sleeping. I felt so embarrassed because I woke him up like this "I'm so sorry" I looked down at my hands "I don't even know how I got here" I panted out.

"Hey! Hey! Hey! It's okay just come in" he said in a calm tone wrapping his arm around my shoulders and shutting the door behind us. "It's okay, it's okay" he repeated as we sat down at the couch "Are you hurt?" I shook my head a no "Do you want to tell me about it?" he asked his hand soothing up and down my arms.

"I just want to be with him why is it so fucking hard" I said, my voice cracked and I started crying again. "I thought it was going to be easy if we both wanted to" I sobbed "It just won't happen. That night will haunt me for the rest of my life and I don't even know what happened" I don't remember crying this hard for a long time. I was always trying to keep it together.

"It's not your fault, Grace." he whispered helping me up. "You're okay now. Just breathe. Focus on breathing" he said taking us to the bathroom. He bent me over the sink helping me wash my face with cold water.

He took me to the couch and sat next to me with his arm still around my shoulders I immediately hugged him and he held me tighter "you're okay now you're safe I'm here" he said as he planted circles in my back with his arms trying to calm me down, I was still sobbing.

Minutes passed we just sat there in silence I finally calm down my breathing is back to normal now "I think a cold shower would help, C'mon " he said helping me to get up.

After the shower I changed into some sweatpants and a t-shirt, my hair was still wet I lay in the bed while Zayn set at the edge of the bed he knew something was wrong with me and he knew I was going to tell him eventually.

But I just can't. I kept this from him for a long time and I can't just tell him about everything now. He always knew that I was keeping something from him but he always respected my decision and told me that I can tell him whenever I'm ready.

But the problem is that there are two things that I'm keeping from him. One I'm sure he'd get crazy if I tell him about, and I don't even remember the whole truth of the other.

"I slept with Harry" I whispered.

"Did he hurt you? Is that why you're acting like this?" He said through clenched teeth.

"No! No, it was amazing but I shouldn't have done it" I said quickly trying to calm him down "I was supposed to tell him about everything first but I couldn't" I said, playing with the pillow "And I'm scared of Aidan" I mumbled.

"You both broke up, Grace. You can do whatever you want" he explained "And if he thinks he could hurt you because you're with someone else I'd make sure that he won't live to see another day" he snarled

That's why I didn't want to tell him about what happened a year ago. I didn't want him to do something stupid and loose him too.

He was always there for me.

He was the only one that believed in me without pressuring me into telling him anything.

He was the only thing that kept me sane all these years.