Lay Me Down

Lay Me Down Chapter 24

"Well, I'll see you guys this afternoon," she mumbled before walking out of the door. 

Carter got up once she had left. You could still sense the hostility between them and I didn't want to sound selfish but at least he wasn't as upset with me as he was with his mother.

 

"Sasha, where's your bag?" he asked her.

 

"By the door," she answered. He left out of the kitchen and came out with her bag.

 

"You ready Lizzie?" I nodded, getting up and putting my plate in the sink. Carter took Sasha's plate and discarded it too, then he slipped her backpack straps over her shoulders. "I love you," he told her while picking her up.

 

"I love you too Carter," she giggled. With that he grabbed his own bag and walked out the door carrying her on his hip. I grabbed my bag and followed.

 

After dropping Sasha off at school, we headed to our destination. Complete silence filled the car and it was kind of uncomfortable, for me at least. I turned my head gazing out the window and watched as we passed houses, gas stations, stores, and daycares. My eyes stared blankly out the window looking at nothing in particular but then I noticed in the corner of my eyes that we had passed the school.

 

"Carter, where are we going?"  

 

"I don't know," was all he replied.

 

"We should go to school. We've already missed two days, you said so yourself."  

 

"I can drop you off if you want," he said monotonously. 

I sighed. "What's wrong?" 

 

"Nothing."

 

"Something's wrong so what is it?"  

 

"My mom is still seeing him," he said.

 

"Carter, I don't think she meant breakfast with Reed," I said trying to assure him even though I had the same thoughts. He said nothing. "She's your mom Carter. You can't be mad at her."  

 

"Aren't you mad at your mom?"  

"That's different." I crossed my arms.

 

"Oh, really? How?" I said nothing. I didn't want to talk about that. "I thought so!" 

He was beginning to make me mad. He knew nothing about my mom and me. "You thought so what? You know nothing about my mom! You've never even seen her," I had my arms raised in an irritated way. "So don't think for one second that our families can be compared because they can't. I don't even have a family."  

 

"You aren't the only one with a fucked up life, so don't expect me to feel sorry for you." He had parked the car in an abandoned parking lot. He had some nerve.

 

"Are you serious? Are you thinking straight right now, because I definitely don't get where your train of thought is headed." I was really beginning to get riled up.  "Carter, the last thing I want is for you to feel sorry for me and you know that so I don't even know why you made that comment. If it was up to me you wouldn't even know about anything that goes on in that house, but no! You just kept pushing. Everything was blurting out without my control and I couldn't stop it.

"Your mom cares about you. She made a mistake and you won't let it go. She's trying and I can't believe that you of all people can't see that. You can't expect for her to never have a relationship again and don't ever think that our situations are the same because they're not! I would give anything to have a mom like yours Carter. You can see the love she has for you. My mom is like a walking zombie. No matter what I do, she would never love me like a mother's supposed to love their child." I told him as tears overflowed from my eyes. He reached out towards me.

 

"Lizzie, don't cry. I hate to see you cry. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you," he said pulling me against him. I wiped the tears from my eyes and pressed my cheek against his chest.

"Don't ever feel sorry for me Carter," I sniffed. He said nothing. "Carter, please stop being mad at me," I sobbed into his chest. "I know I was wrong for not telling you and I'm sorry. I was just . . . I really don't know what I was doing but I'm sorry." 

 

"It's okay. It's over with, I'm not mad anymore." 

I looked up at him. "Really?" I questioned wiping the tears away from my eyes.

 

"Really." He pecked me on the lips.

 

"Can I ask you a question?"

 

"Yea, go ahead."  

 

"Where were you? Where'd did you go?" I finally asked the question that was in the back of my head.

 

"I went to my old town and stayed at Jay's place." 

 

"What did you all do down there?" I really didn't know where I was getting at or maybe I did and just didn't want to admit it to myself.

 

"Nothing, I just hung with Jay." 

I leaned my head back into his chest not pushing it anymore. I had already gotten him un-mad at me. I didn't want him to think that I didn't trust him because I did. It was just that he wasn't thinking straight and he could have done anything. I sighed, it wasn't like there was anything I could do anyway. I had slept with another guy while with him, so why should I even be mad at him if he did, I asked myself. Maybe, because it was the principle of the matter.

"Do we plan on going to school at all?" I asked him.

 

"I don't want to go. Will you stay out with me?"  

 

"Sure," I nodded. "Besides we never did get a chance to celebrate," I reminded him. 

A smile appeared on his face. "Yea, we are definitely not going to school," he said as he cranked the car up and put it in drive. 

I laughed, glad that he had basically forgiven me and that we were on good terms again.