Thiam One Shots

I Can't

•A/N

HUGE trigger warning here. This one shot contains very mature topics. It mentions self-harm and suicide. If you are sensitive to this topic, then please don't read this.

I can't say much else because these kinds of things don't trigger me, but I want to be sensitive for those who it might trigger.

Writing this kind of content is an escape for me, you don't have to read it if you are sensitive to it.

I apologize if I hurt anyone with this or trigger anyone with this because that is not my intent.

Writing this material, specifically, this topic helps me personally and is some type of relief to me.

This is also something I wrote at 2 am when I was feeling it.

Anyways, for those who are still reading, I can't really say enjoy this one shot because it's a deep topic.

Warnings are over, so if you continue to read, then the next paragraph will be the one shot

•••••

The silver turns to crimson as he draws another line across his wrist, giving himself another permanent tattoo.

His vision swirled with colours, slowly fading into black.

The silence which was once before present is now filled with panicked yells, like screaming bloody murder.

The paintbrush he once held in his hands, picked up by his lover only to be a razor.

The ink on his wrists that kept running, turned to blood as his lover called for help.

"Stay with me" he heard.

"I can't" he mumbled before finally giving in and falling into the black abyss.

The blood pooling by his sides.

Being picked up by his lover, he felt nothing.

Having his wounds covered as he was surely bleeding out, he was finally starting to feel at peace.

His heart slowing down as his lover's sped up, beating enough for the both of them.

Rushed but careful driving through the long streets of the city.

Before finally reaching the building lots of people hate.

The building filled with death and sickness.

Filled with the wounded and ill.

Hooked up to machines to keep him alive, he has stopped breathing.

Resuscitation.

Once.

Twice.

Three times.

Failed.

His heartbeat for the last time as his lover held his hand.

As the sound of a flatline rung through the room, tears cascading down his lover's face.

"Why?" was all he could say.

"Why'd you have to leave me?" he screamed.

"Why'd you have to do this?" he yelled.

"I'm sorry," he whispered breaking down.

Driving home in the truck with bloodstains in the passenger seat he was silent.

The tears were no longer flowing.

He was grieving the loss of his everything.

Returning to a note on the kitchen counter.

"If you're reading this... then that means I finally did it" he read.

"Don't be sad.

I'm finally free.

Please put those words on my tombstone.

That's the last thing I ask of you, and to take care of yourself.

-I'm finally free-

I'm free of the weight of this world.

Free from the nagging teachers and bitchy friends.

Free from society's standards.

But that also means I'm no longer with you.

Know it was nothing you did or didn't do that made me leave.

You did everything you could with everything you knew.

Maybe I'd still be with you if I told you... but I couldn't put that weight on your shoulders.

I love you.

Never forget that.

You were my everything.

Now I'll be your guardian angel protecting you from all bad things.

I'm sorry.

I love you, T.

Love, your baby wolf."

The tears returned.

A sense of loss finally filling him as he processed what just happened.

He lost his everything.

His everything is gone.

No more sweet kisses.

No more late-night cuddles.

No more weekly movie nights.

No more forest dates.

No more 3 am truck rides.

No more 5 am laughing fits.

No more 'I love you's.

No more.

He is gone.

His lover is gone.

Dead.

•A/N

For those of you who decided to read this, I hope it wasn't too bad. It was something I wrote on a whim when I was sleep-deprived and feeling it.
I hope I wasn't too dramatic in my warnings at the start... I'm a bitchy drama queen so I wouldn't be surprised if it was over the top.

Let me know how it was and don't forget to vote.

If any of you need to talk, I'll always be here. Please, feel free to PM me.

Reach out if you are struggling or need help. It's never good to suffer in silence, trust me.