The Loser's Girlfriend [A Billie Joe Armstrong Fan Fiction]

Chapter Four: "She's Such A Saint, Ain't She?"

Hmm…, “I thought you were stalking her for the past three days? What have you found out?”

He gets a piece of paper from his pocket and hands it over to me, “this.”

He looks damn proud of himself.

Wow. It’s a list. A list of things he found out about Chelsea Rhone. Let’s see…

1. Doesn’t say bad words.

2. Is fond of Nicholas Sparks novels.

3. Actually loves studying.

4. Lives in an apartment.

Wait. What? “How’d you know she lives in an apartment? Did you follow her home?” ‘Cause that’s just fucking creepy of you, Armstrong.

His reply? Shoulders shrugging with a smirk on his face. Whatever.

5. Loves horror movies.

6. Never slept with anyone.

7. Doesn’t drink, smoke or, do drugs.

8. Used to gather donations for the local Help-The-Children Foundation.

9. Takes summer jobs in Barnes and Noble, looks after children in the Day-care Facility and, assists in the front desk of the nearby Home for the Aged.

“Wow, that’s very…good of her,” I can’t even think of words to properly describe her now. Who would have thought that Chelsea Rhone, Stonewall High’s Math Heroine is also --

“She’s such a saint, ain’t she?” he grins. I nod.

She’s a good girl type. Quiet. Conservative. “Well, looks like you’ve got to adapt to changes. She’s a quiet girl, really conservative. The best way to win her over is to take things slowly but surely. You have to --,” I pause abruptly, “…do you want paper and pen?”

He laughs, “nah, I’ve got my phone. I’ll just punch it in.”

I smile, “you have to make a strong first impression…although I think you’ve already done that part. Was your approach good or bad?”

He shrugs again. I’ll take that as a so-so kind of approach. “Well…if that’s the case,” I continue, “the next thing you could do is be close to her. Y’know, sitting next to her in class, short greetings when you see her in the hallways, stuff like that. Oh, and if you are lab partners, that’s fantastic!”

“Done that,” Billie replies, giving me a thumbs-up. “Next?”

“Okay, so for example,” I was really into it now, “you have some sort of pair work or something like that, make sure to make small talk in order to make it less awkward. If there comes a time when you need to be in her house or vice versa, make sure you bring her something…not roses or shit like that, something more subtle like food or brownies or a single cupcake would be fine.”

He nods, his thumbs typing feverishly onto his phone.

“Oh, I just remembered, when you guys see each other, you have to --,” I was cut abruptly when Billie suddenly handed out his phone to me. “What?” I ask, confused.

“Why don’t you just type everything in there? In order to save your voice or something,” he grins.

I laugh. Yeah. Why didn’t I think of that?

To all of those who have been reading, I love you and I'd appreciate it more if you guys comment because it's what keeps me (and every writer, actually) going.

xo,

T.