Until My Heartbeat Stops

Reasons and Reservations

"You're too stiff."

Dixie couldn't breathe. As much as she wanted to forget what had happened she couldn't. Her sister; growing up was the one person who kept her going, no they weren't close but she loved her to death. She just didn't understand what it was she did break the broken bond that held them together.

Charli was furious. Who was Dixie to come into her life whenever she pleased when it was convenient for her? Dixie left when Charli needed her the most she wasn't gonna let her back in because now she's ready to be a sister. Chase could read right through Charli. He laid next to her on the bed as they waited for the doctors to come back. "It's okay." He said sweetly pulling her closer. "Everything's gonna be okay."

Dixie went home, just picked up her stuff, and left. She wasn't gonna watch her sister get surgery and if the hospital ever found out her relation to Charli they would kick her out of the OR since you can't operate on family. Something about emotion getting in the way of what was best for the patient. So Dixie took it into her own hands by leaving. Noah noticed her go but saw the look on her face as she left and didn't bother making her even more irritated by his somewhat nosey personality.

It was 6:45 pm when Noah walked into her apartment again. There was a dinner with some of the residences at 7 to talk about something other than work. They were having a friendly get-together and all the residences were invited. "Dixie, you ready we're supposed to be at the restaurant, the reservations in 15." Dixie groaned rolling out of bed, meeting Noah in the living room wearing PJs. "What are you doing we have to leave now!" "I'm not going," Dixie said grabbing ice cream out of the freezer before falling onto the couch. "Why not?" Noah didn't scream but he seemed irritated. "Because I don't want to." "No that's not a reason." "Yes it is, look I don't do that kind of thing I'm not like you." "Do what, what thing?" Noah looked intrigued. Dixie however was annoyed she had no intention of dressing up for something that had nothing to do with work. "Be ..... Social." "Oh my god, Dixie are you kidding me!" "I know I haven't known you for long but this seems like bullshit to me."

Dixie was holding herself back from life because she didn't want to know what it had in store for her. Dixie's only heartbreak was losing patients she had no interest in movie nights, friendship dates, or carnivals. All she knew was surgery it was her coping mechanism. "I don't like people Noah it's not my fault." "Yes, it is." Dixie stopped finally turning her head away for her tube of ice cream looking Noah dead in the eyes like she was reading something.

"HOW THE HELL IS IT MY FAULT?!"

Dixie whisper screamed placing the ice cream on her coffee table as she walked up to Noah. "Because you don't wanna try." Noah was still looking at her.

"Because you assume everybody hates you and you move on, you put all your energy in work to hide the fact that you're more lonely than you let yourself believe, you push everyone away to keep from getting hurt but you deep down just want someone to notice your pain." Dixie looked away from Noah. He just met her. She wasn't gonna let him assume something about her life because he didn't have one his self. Still, she was hesitant of speaking.

Tears. Dixie was on the verge of tears, but she doesn't cry in front of people so she blinked rapidly to make the water disappear. "Stop keeping yourself from reality." Dixie turned forcefully pulling out of Noah's captivating eyes to wipe her tears without anyone seeing. Dixies back were still facing Noah when she said

"I'm not going to this stupid dinner!"

"WHY?!" I'm not gonna cancel because you're scared of being free. Dixie turned back to Noah, "I'm fine, I'm not gonna let your conspiracy theories about me dictate or alter my way of living." 

Dixie calmed down. Sitting back on the couch and indulging in her Ice Cream. She didn't need his input. Correction she didn't want it, Her life was just fine before she met Noah and just because she did doesn't mean she had to change everything for him.

"You can go to the dinner, Noah." She said grabbing the remote from the coffee table in front of her. "No one's stopping you."

Noah said nothing just turned around and left.