risk// 5SOS

24

Calum

"It's perfect! Thank you, dad, I only asked for this today,"

"You're welcome bud, it looks great, doesn't it?"

"Yeah,"

"Thank you, Michael! You have sorted my bed out lots,"

Rider threw his arms round Mike and giggled, Gia watching. When he stepped away, she stepped forward, and leant into him, which he welcomed. Whether it was because she didn't want to be replaced by Rider, or if it was that he trusted him now that someone else had hugged him, I did not know.

Either way, Mike's eyes lit up.

"I hope you guys have a good evening. Is there anything else you need?"

"You've done more than enough, Mike. Thank you, honestly,"

"Alright, well I'm only a phone call away," he said, "See you all later,"

He slipped out the room and Gia sat on her bed, swinging her legs. I didn't want to make a big deal, so I mouthed 'are you okay?" and got a firm nod, so smiled and followed in Mike's steps.

I caught him as he was leaving, and pulled him into a tight hug, resting on his shoulder.

"Thank you,"

"I had to pick up a shirt from the store anyway, it's no problem. Rider seems to have settled, and they both seem much better than yesterday... mainly because they're not in hospital,"

"A shirt for what?"

"A dinner,"

"A date?"

He pushed me off him and I laughed, punching his shoulder.

"Michael's got a date,"

"It's at the weekend,"

"And fancy enough for a shirt?"

"She chose the place,"

"Ah,"

"I er... it was nice to see Gia. I'll come round another time,"

"You're welcome whenever. Have fun on your date,"

"I will," he grinned.

As I shut the door, Sage tapped me on the shoulder and I jumped, spinning round; they laughed quietly and I joined them, locking the door.

"He wanted his hair cut before bed, which is usually at 9. You put them to bed at 8:30,"

"They need a good amount of sleep, so his bedtime is 8:30 for now,"

"But that's not his bedtime,"

"Well this is a new home," I pushed gently, "And a new routine that I have set for them both. He seems to do well with it,"

"But... it's not their bedtime," they said quietly.

"I appreciate that the change is hard, but can we give it a shot? Me being the parent means I set down the rules, but I am listening to you, and what you are saying is valid,"

"Okay,"

"What about your routine? Has that been disrupted?"

"Yeah,"

"How about you figure out a new one in the next few days? Even something small like making your bed, or doing some work,"

They nodded, but sniffed and looked down, playing with their top.

"Sorry,"

"Today has been a super long day, don't apologise,"

"My mouth hurts,"

"Do you want a hug?"

They shook their head and I nodded, my heart wrenching as they began to cry.

"It's getting late, let's cut Rider's hair in the morning. How about me and you find a show to watch? And we can have some time together whenever you want to watch the show, even if that just includes sitting in silence,"

"But that means accepting you're my parent,"

"Not necessarily, unless you want to take it that way?"

They shrugged and I nodded them towards the stairs, waiting for them to move before me. It struck me how awful their posture was, and how closed they had their body right now. Their fingers tapped on their arm, and though their face was still a tiny bit swollen, I could see their mouth twisting.

"You're Rider's parent, and I want the same parent, so I guess you are,"

"It's not an 'I guess you are' kind of thing, darling, it's when you feel ready, and comfortable. You can grieve,"

"I am not grieving," they snapped.

"Okay... Rider was, so I assumed you still would be, and I am sorry,"

"Why don't you get angry?"

I paused , the house quiet enough for me to hear their heavy breathing, then shrugged and smiled.

"I'm kinda known for saving kids, not hurting them. And why would I get angry at you for being upset?"

Shouting at people didn't make them learn. It either upsets them, makes them angry, or signals that they should fear you.

For Gia, I never ever shouted, no matter how angry I got. It was patronising, explosive,and part of her past environment. I'm not saying it's always easy to keep my voice calm, but it is possible.

I wasn't a so called 'soft' parent. I didn't let them do everything, but aggression was never there. Being a parent did not give me the automatic right to shout and make a scene without consequences.

Usually I used positive reinforcement, like how this week I was going to get the kids their dolls, and Sage their piercings, for doing so well with the change. Or, I used a negative punishment, which had only happened to Gia once because when I took away her bedtime story, she hadn't caused much trouble since.

Now, she felt she was too old for a bedtime story, but I squeezed them in a few times.

"Because, we have kept you up at night, and had to have surgery, and we are always upset, and cost a lot of money, and eat your food,"-

"Sage, I'm gonna stop that list, because you're listing things that kids do. Of course you eat our food, it belongs to us all,"

"But you don't get angry and this is confusing me,"

"Being a teenager is hard enough, I know, because I was one once," I said, raising my eyebrows, "But you went through things at your old home, that we can talk about whenever you want, and now you're going through a huge change, whilst already dealing with the teenage hormones and struggles,"

"I don't wanna talk about it,"

"That's okay,"

"He's dead now, it doesn't matter,"

"Okay... you guys need space to figure out who you are, what you want to do, and how you feel, and I'm not going to confine that to you in your room at night. You expressing emotions is good, I am proud of you for it. If you hurt others, with words or actions, that is when I will be upset,"

They nodded and wiped their eyes, then looked me dead in the eyes and stared me down.

"You're not gonna leave,"

"I'm not. I'm staying right here, I promise,"