The Crimson Twilight of 50 ABY

Chapter Six

Aarue

I sat with my back against the door, head leaned back, dried tears staining my freckled cheeks, and my eyes staring up at the ceiling.
I just kept on repeating the same words, over and over again in my head.

It's not true.
It's not true.
It's not true.

It's been three days since they told us, and I still refuse to believe it.
There is no way my mother, Eclypse Solo, was Darth Nova. The Sith Empress with no sympathy or mercy for anyone.
There is no way my father, Ben Solo, was Kylo Ren. The cruel Supreme Leader of the First Order.
No, they aren't the same.
Kylo Ren and Darth Nova are dead.
Will forever be dead.

I've taken off my crystal and stuffed it into my mattress. I considered crushing it too but I didn't have the guts to do the act.
That night I had locked myself in mine and Esmere's room, no one's come in or anything. I only leave the room to get food at night when everyone's asleep. I don't want to have contact with anyone. Esmere's sleeping on the couch since he can't come in here to sleep. He does that anyway when he can't sleep so he's fine.
I just want the truth of all this.
I want closure that my parents were not those evil people.
Why can't I have it?
Am I not worthy?
Was I too harsh on Esmere when he was looking for the truth?
Did I punch Norman too hard?
My whole life was I a bad child?
Did I not study harder in school?

All I want right now is the truth, and the thing is... I might not be worthy of knowing it.

Slowly, I pushed myself up from the floor to stand. I have to go to school. I can make it through school, right?
I tried being quiet as I search my drawers for my spare uniform since my normal one is dirty but I don't have the time to wash it right now, let alone the patience.
When I found it, I put it on quickly since I don't have much time left to get ready. And after I went to fix my hair which I knew was a mess.
While I brushed it out I remembered an old memory from when I was little...
One I thought I had forgotten.

"Ow, you're pulling too tight!" I said.
"Sorry, Angel." Daddy said back. "I'll be more gentle."
I'm letting him do my hair today instead of Mommy and I don't really think he knows how. But it's ok.
"Sh*t, why is this so hard?" I heard him say quietly. I've never heard that word before...
"Daddy, what does that mean?" I asked.
"What does what mean, Angel?"
"That word, 'sh*t'."
"That's not a word you should be saying, little miss. We don't say that, only Mom says that word. She coined it. It belongs to her. So don't say it again."
"But you said it. Why can't I say it too?" I pouted.
"Because, I'm a grown-up. Wait until you're as old as me then you can say that word. Ah, now I'm done! Wanna see, Angel?"
"Mhm!"
Daddy picked up the tiny mirror so I could see my hair. It wasn't as good as Mommy does it but I like it because he did it!
"What do you think?"
"I think it's really pretty!"
I turned around and hugged him big.

"I love you a lot, my Angel..." Daddy said while smiling.
"I love you, 3,000!"
"Wow! 3,000?! That's a big number, Angel, are you sure you love me that much?"
I nodded. "I'm sure."
"Well, I'm happy that you do."

I still do love my Dad Three Thousand. Probably more than that.
Same goes for Mom.
But the things they told me get in the way of that.
My hair is too short now to put in a braid so I put half of it in a bun and let the rest stay down. Then I just stood there, looking into the mirror at myself.
I look like my mother, except with brown eyes and a bit of a lighter shade of skin. I think I look pretty, I can't really tell right now but this is decent enough for class.
I quickly packed my textbooks into my satchel then went to my door. My hand hovered over the handle.
I took a deep breath.
Here it goes...
As I opened it I saw that my father stood there in front of me like he was about to knock. We both stared at each other, trying to decide what to say. He seemed desperate and unhappy.
But why should I care? I have somewhere to be.
I settled with; "Morning." then walked past him.
"Aarue, I wasn't expecting..." I heard my mother's voice but I didn't look to see which direction it came from. Her words trailed off as if she didn't know anything else to say. I went to the front door, typing in the code to make it open.
"I'll be walking to school today, I'll see you later." I said simply, not looking behind me at either of them as I walked out of the house.
It was nice to breathe the fresh air again, and see the cherry blossoms bloom on the trees. In this time where I get to walk to class, I get to have a moment of peace for the first time in days to empty my mind and enjoy everything around me.