Second time lucky

30

Britts pov.

It wasn't my finest moment, asking him to stay. We were at a cordial place with each other, knowing that we were friends, and that's all we could be for the kids sake.. well at least until I ruined it all.

Of course I knew I still loved him and maybe I was too weak, too fragile after my break up with Kyle, to be in such an emotional place with only Riley for company. It's not as if he would leave me in such a fragile state, even before we had talked through him leaving before it happened.

The look in his eyes when I pulled him into my room told me that he was unsure of all this, that we were skating on thin ice, threatening to break the new foundation we had managed to build since he came back and yet I couldn't help it.

I didn't want to feel like this anymore. Empty, broken, alone. His smell, his aura, his everything was just as intoxicating as it had always been, and just like every single time before he calmed me, distracted me from all the negativity in my life.

I didn't want to think anymore, didn't care about what would happen after, I just wanted to feel something other than pain and loneliness for once.

"Riles?" I played coy as his Adam's apple bobbed in his throat.

"Yeah?" He answered as I pulled him closer to me and pressed my lips against his.

His mouth responded to mine, but I could tell he was still hesitant, almost as if he were trying to protect himself.

"Britt we can't ... I ...." he pulled away.

"I need you Riles!" I gasped before running my hands through my hair as he took a step back. "I'm sorry, I... it's just I'm tired of feeling lonely and unwanted. You are the only person who makes me feel like me again, the only person who I trust to bring me back to myself."

"Britt it's only been a month." He said boldly.

"I know that, I miss him every single morning I wake up feeling alone again and miss the smell of breakfast from the kitchen, or the kids laughing because he wanted to act silly with them... I know he's gone, but you know what I miss more?" I lowered my voice to a broken whisper. "You Riles, I missed you!"

"Britt."

"No Riley, I miss him and that's okay, but even when I was with him I missed you. You were a constant ache in my chest, and the harder I tried to fight against it the more it hurt." I started to ramble. "I loved Kyle, love him still, but not in the same way I love you. Maybe that's why we never actually slept together, maybe the universe was trying to tell me that it wasn't meant to be..."

"Britt I can't .." he said as disappointment washed through me. "I can't keep acting like I don't want you anymore."

"So don't." I replied, more relieved than I thought possible.

He took a step back towards me and tangled his hand in my hair as he pushed me against the door. My body pinned between his and the cold wood behind me. His nose skimmed across the side of my neck as his breath fanned my collar bone.

"We can talk about all this tomorrow." His voice was gruff, edgy, a burning ember ready to ignite.

"Fine," my breathing hitched as his lips brushed up my neck to my jawline. "But for now please just kiss me." I begged.

It was as if I had detonated a nuclear bomb with the reaction that followed. His free hand gripped my waist, hard, while his mouth crushed against mine in a tidal wave of passionate and urgent strokes.

He was groaning as i whimpered from the initial shock of the sheer force behind the kiss. It felt like he was completely out of control, a feeling that only made heat surge through my body making me wetter between my legs, the notion that I had made him lose control adding fuel to the fire.