killer instinct - || h.s. ||

07

I need to finally be in control of an aspect of my life again.

I pull on my sweats as Jules stutters and looks over at Lou, just seeing him shake his head at me. I tug my hoodie on and sniffle yet again. I smile at both of them whilst I zip my bag back up and tug my shoes on.

"I'll be fine, I've got it," I reassure them and they both stare at me like the delusional person I am. I stand back up, picking up my bag. "Love you!" I call out with my dwindling voice, giving them light smiles before heading out.

Walking across the squishy mats and lifting my hood over my slightly sweaty hair, I'm in the determination of my next destination even though I shouldn't be walking around in the cold with a literal cold.

I push the gym door open and the cold air hits me as it tickles my nose and I sneeze again, my entire head feeling like it just exploded with that one and I groan as I shake it out.

Walking down the sidewalk to get back to the main street and I let my feet take me in the familiar path. Stopping myself at a usual shop, I step through the doors to see a familiar face pop up from behind the counter.

"You are just in time." The kind woman from the shop says and I put a smile on my face as I walk over to the front desk. She rummages through the back and I patiently wait with my head feeling heavier than it normally does in my skull, pulling out my wallet as the smell of florals fills my nose.

Her head pops up as she perfectly ties the silk ribbon around the thick, green stems. I hand her my card but she just laughs, pushing it back to me. "Don't worry about it." She says and I smile, taking the flowers from her and I shake my head, tucking my wallet into my bag.

"Have a good night." I wave and she returns the gesture as I head out. I hum to myself, walking out the door and lightly smelling the flowers that are going to wilt anyway in the cold. I continue my typical journey down the pavement by myself.

Sliding past people on the sidewalk, I sniffle and find myself paranoid that Harry's watching me right now but I need this. I'm not staying long today, my body can't physically handle that currently. I take a right and head down the sidewalk as I look up to see the familiar sight and I swallow the lump already forming in my throat.

My feet taking me down the pavement and turning for my shoes to transition from cement to wilting grass. I walk across this terrain, zig-zagging my way through the place until my feet slow to a stop.

I sniffle and I drop my bag on the ground before sinking myself down to the ground too, setting the yellow flowers down delicately and sighing under my breath. Extending my legs in front of me, I gently lay back in this patch of grass with my head resting on my duffle. I stare up at the gray skies for some time, finding comfort and peace in this.

Not strength or weakness here, but peace of mind for a little bit.

Just watching the clouds pass by and light dwindling away before shutting my eyes for just a second.

"Rora!" I hear a familiar little voice scream as I go chasing after him. His laughter erupting through the small home as both of our tiny frames run barefoot through the soft grass. The sun beaming down and the smell of fresh-cut grass filling my little nose.

My own giggles escaping my chest as I chase after that head of dark brown hair that could pass as obsidian. My hair pulled back in pigtails on either side of my head as my legs move at lighting speed, or at least what I thought to be lighting speed with the wind flying through my hair.

"Hey–" my voice gets cut right off as he comes to an abrupt stop. My small frame slams into his back with a shriek that sounds through the backyard with the summer life of chirping birds and buzzing bugs enjoying the same sun we are.

My nose colliding with his back, I go tumbling back with a yelp. My sinuses sting at the pain erupting through my face. All until I fall right onto my bottom with a whiny groan, my patience wearing thin as I hold my aching nose.

Getting myself up with an annoyed expression on my face, my little hand smacks his head to allow a startled yelp to leave him. "Ouch, what was that for–" he starts and my lips are pursed in a glare at him.

His brown eyes twinkle in the summer light until it all comes crashing down just as I open my mouth.

"For once, Will, please–" I hear my mom as the both of us go nervously quiet at the snap in her voice.

"Sol, I'm trying here–" my dad's voice chimes in. I can hear him next to me, breathing heavily from the running we were just doing through the backyard.

"No, I'm done! I'm done. You're not listening to me–" my mom yells at him now and my face scrunches up at the harshness to it. Feeling my palm holding my aching nose get damp, I glance down and pull my palm back to see the crimson on my tanned skin.

"Sol, I'm here, you can talk to me, angel–" my dad pleads and I hear a soft gasp next to me, blinking a few times to meet his brown eyes like my dad's.

He hisses as his eyes meet my face, making me look at him in confusion. "What?" I mumble, wiping up my nose and I pull my hand back to see more crimson.

"You're so gross." I hear him before he's tugging my wrist, yanking the both of us in for the conversation to come to an abrupt pause in the kitchen.

My parents freeze, their eyes looking over and their parental instincts kick in.

"What did you do!" My mom gasps, walking over and lifting me up into her arms and onto her hip.

"I bumped my nose," I murmur and she breathes out a soft laugh as she carries me over to the sink. Seeing her soft smile, I stare over at my mom, blinking a few times as she turns the tap on. Her hazel eyes shimmer with a fresh gloss that she hides with a smile.

Another presence joining my other side, I look over to see my dad's warm brown eyes. Putting on a good face, he cups some of the water in his hand and brings it to my face to clean my nose whilst my mom washes the blood off my hands. I receive soft kisses from both of them onto my little forehead.

I've taken too many things in life for granted.

Blinking my eyes back open, the dimming light up high in the gray skies serves as a reminder that I can't stay out here forever. My cold body tells me that I need warmth along with my aching head from the fresh, painful memories.

I sit up again to the blood to rush back through my sore body, seeing the breath cloud in front of me. I reach my numb fingers into my duffle and I rummage through the things I have thrown in here.

Pulling out my wallet, I dig through the change pouch to fish out a penny. Revealing the copper circle I intended to grab, I throw my wallet back into my bag. I sniffle as I scoot forward on the grass. I set the copper coin down as my last resort right now on the stone slab in the patch of dying grass.

Pulling back, I sit up as I take a deep breath only to hear my lungs rasping as a little cloud forms in front of me.

"I need a wish today," I mutter, never believing in this stuff but I'm so incredibly desperate right now.

---

sorry, that's a short one but there's more to come, i swear.

thanks for sticking around

love, han