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In my message board... I mentioned about this guy that's been chasing me nonstop. So I told his friend to tell him to stop. Then he go on and DM me...
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"Why did you complain nonsense to Fatimah about me... I chat you simply because I want to know how you're doing that's it and no more... just so you know I chat you not because I still hope to be with you but because I still care and I still consider you as my friend and not more... after all, you were someone important to me... if you don't like me chatting you just block me it's that simple... you don't have to complain to her... I'm grateful that someone care for me... don't be arrogant.. remember above sky there will be another sky... and women are not just you... I just wanna be friends no more"
He thinks he have the audacity to talk to me like that? When he have zero clue of what I've been through. He said he cares for me... that he wants to always be there for me when all he did was going missing and reappear like a f*ckin' ghost! Then he don't know a single thing of what I've been through.
The paragraph written in Bahasa Indonesia below is my reply to him. Sorry I can't focus on translating them.
"Kenapa nggak ngko aja yang block aku? Tugas aku udah selesai. Ngebuat ngko benci sama aku. Emang itu keinginan aku. Ngko nggak usah ingatin aku. Aku tau kalau aku bukan satu2nya cewek. Aku BUKAN arogan. Aku hanya melindungi diri. Jadi nggak usah ceramahin aku. Setelah semua yang terjadi... aku udah nggak mau terlalu percaya siapa2. Sendiri lebih baik... Nggak ada yang bisa nyakitin aku. Dari teman... saat SMA yang merupakan orang pertama yang aku welcome di hidup aku. Ternyata cuma mau manfaatin aku aja. Aku udah nggak mau percaya siapa2 setelah itu. Tapi aku selalu coba kasih kesempatan ke orang-orang lain. Tapi apa?? Hasilnya sama aja. Selama ini... setiap kali aku coba buka diri... hasilnya selalu sama. Sakit hati... sakit hati... sakit hati!
Jadi ngko JANGAN coba2 ngejudge aku... tanpa ngko tau apa yang udah aku lalui. Semua orang di sekeliling aku itu toxic dan palsu. Yang bener true dan baik hanya Fatimah dan satu teman yang aku sebutpun ngko nggak akan kenal. Lalu Ngko? Yang Bilangnya sayang, peduli, bakal selalu ada dll. Hanya bisa hilang timbul kayak hantu. BULLSHIT SEMUA YANG NGKO SEBUTKAN. Mereka semua juga hanya datang kalau ada perlunya... dan aku langsung di lupakan. Aku hanya ngelindungi diri... INGAT ITU!
Satu2nya yang bener2 aku percaya justru hanyalah Allah, menulis dan Fatimah dan temanku. Karena selama ini nggak ada yang nyakitin aku. Menulis adalah healing instrument yang Allah beri kan sama aku. Sementara Fatimah dan temanku itu selalu ada untuk nenangin aku saat kalian semua hanya bisa NYAKITIN aku. Dan hanya nulis dan Fatimah dan temanku yang akan aku percayai. Tidak ngko... tidak mereka... TIDAK semuanya."
I also said "I don't care if what I said hurts you. Because I can guarantee 100% that the pain isn't even 10% of what I've been through"
I also said "my Wattpad readers... who knows me ONLY from little information and introduction that I gave knows me way better than you!"
