Mirror of Perfection (hisollumi story)

Chapter 29 - We don't need you

Killua's Pov:

I blink my eyes open and look at the clock, 10:45. I never sleep this long. I flip off my side and onto my back, Gon runs up and jumps onto me. "Goooood morning sleepy head!" He kisses my forhead then grabs my hand, "Getttt upppp!" He pulls me up, and out of bed. He pulls me all the way downstairs where I see Alluka sitting at our kitchen table drawing, and Kalluto sitting next to her. "Good morning big brother!" Kalluto says good morning but hes more occupied in his manga. Gon looks at me and whispers "Can we cuddleee?" I smile and say "Ok" I smirk and I tackle him onto the couch. "Oh you think your a top do you now?" He smirks and flips me over so hes on top. Then he lays down on top of me and I rub his hair. 

(time skip)

Its noon now and Gon is still on top of me, he never stay here this long. Its cute. He has his eyes closed but hes still awake, I can tell by the way hes breathing. I take a deep breath. I love this, I could stay here forever. Unfortunately, we hear walking upstairs and Alluka sighs and says "Hes pacing again" Kalluto makes an "mm-hm" noise then goes back to reading. "Again?" I say. Gon sighs and opens his eyes, "hes been doing this all morning since 4 am" Kalluto looks at me and says "We all heard it, but your a deep sleeper" then he goes back to reading his manga. This conversation has the miserable effect of pulling me back into reality. 

I shove Gon off of me and he frowns and says "Aww :(" I make sure Alluka and Kalluto are distracted then whisper "we can do something fun later ;)" He smirks and lets me go. I go up to Illumi's room and knock. "Can I come in?" Nothing. I can still hear him walking though. I rattle the doorknob. Locked. "Illumi please?" His breathing is slow and steady. Something drips on the floor. "No" his voice is shaky and quiet. Drip. Is he cutting himself? "Illumi, please" A piece of glass falls onto his bedroom floor. "No." I start to panic, hes never locked me out of his room. "Illumi are you ok?" I hear his knees hit his bedroom floor. "No" his voice is shaky, cracked and broken. "Illumi, let me help you" I'm practically begging at this point, but he needs me. "No."

I walk downstairs. Hes never pushed me away before. I can feel my hands shaking. My body wants to fall over but I keep walking. Someone knocks on the front door. I go to answer it. "Killua.....are you ok?" I shake my head and continue walking to the door. I open it and see Hisoka. Anger boils up inside of me. Its his fault. I shove him back and walk outside. I slam the front door and dig my nails into my hand. "C-can I see I-illumi?" his eyes are red and puffy from crying, but I don't care. "NO! You cant! He doesn't want to see anyone!" He holds out Illumi's shoes "Will you give these to him for me?" I start crying "NO BECAUSE HE WONT SEE ME EITHER!" I break down crying. I fall onto my knees. I beat my fists onto the floor until they start to bleed. 

Hisoka bends down, stopping my hands from hitting the ground again. "Stop, your hurting yourself" I scream at the top of my lungs "I DON'T CARE!" It hurts my voice, but I mean it. "ITS YOUR FAULT" I shove Hisoka away from me and keep yelling "YOU SAID YOU WOULD PROTECT HIM AND YOU LEFT HIM ALONE! I TRUSTED YOU!" Hisoka starts to cry and says "I- i know and I hate myself for it" I stand up and scream "LEAVE US ALONE" I open the door, run inside, slam it back shut, and run to my room.