Mirror of Perfection (hisollumi story)

Chapter 14 - Panic Attack

Hisoka's Pov:

Illumi stumbles out the word "what" then passes out. Oh god what do i do? He has to have some family here right? I open his door and go to the closest room. I open the door and two boys cuddling sit up. One with green spiky hair, and the white haired boy. The white haired boy seems to recognize me, he looks me up and down. I realize I'm still not wearing a shirt. But that doesn't fucking matter right now.  He seems to come to his senses seeing my panic.

 "What is it?? What happened??" He gets up and his friend follows us to the hall, but leaves to another room. The white haired boy follows me into Illumi's room. He sees Illumi shirtless, passed out on his bed. He goes over to him frantically jumping on the bed and sitting next to him. He presses his fingers against his pulse. "Breathing, fast heartbeat." he mumbles. He lays him down on his pillow and covers him with a blanket. He looks up at me "Tell me exactly what happened."

(time skip)

I tell him every last detail, down to me putting my hand on his throat. The white haired boy closes his eyes and sighs. "What happened? I don- I don't understand" He opens his eyes and motions for me to sit next to him. I sit and he checks to make sure Illumi is asleep. He looks back over at me and says,

"Listen, you absolutely cannot do anything like that with Illumi. Even if he says he's ready to have sex, you cannot. Do not tell him I told you this, it is a really sensative topic for him. 7 months ago, he was almost raped, the boy had put his hand on Illumi's throat, and the boy stabbed Illumi when he pushed him away. He's also severely depressed and suicidal. He has bad anxiety as well, which is what you saw today. It's hard to be Illumi's little brother, but it'll be even harder to be his boyfriend. Ok? You have to be careful with him. Promise me."

I take a minute to answer, processing all of this. I put my hand on his throat. I hate myself. "I will, I promise." He sighs "Good, also, our parents are homophobic, extremely homophobic. You cannot say you are his boyfriend, I don't know what you guys are, but you say you are his best friend and nothing more."

"O-ok, and were not, anything right now. I don't know honestly." He studies me for a minute then asks "Name?" I wonder what he thinks about me... 

"Uh, Hisoka" I say "Yours?" 

"Killua, that boy in my room was Gon, hes my 'best friend', We have two other brothers, Milluki, but you'll probably rarely see him. Kalluto, hes 11 and a sister, Alluka, shes 12."

I nod and say "Mmk, why did Gon go to a different room."

"Well, this is only the second time he's been here when something like this happens, only last time it was much worse. Uh anyway, he usually comforts Kalluto and Alluka while I take care of Illumi."

"Oh ok, what happened last time?" 

"I'm sorry, I won't tell you, that's more personal for him, and he'll come to you if he wants. Now, I'm going to bed, you can stay but don't let our parents catch you cuddling in the morning. Night" He gets up and walks away.