Mirror of Perfection (hisollumi story)

Chapter 18 - You cant love someone, and hate a part of them

Illumi's Pov:

Killua slowly walks into the room and the nurses and doctors in my room leave and they close the door. As soon as Killua sees me he starts to cry. My hair is tangled and bloody, the shard of glass that was in my stomach is on a surgery table next to me, and I have a bloody bandage around my stomach. I reach over to him but he backs away. I don't blame him for not wanting to be near me, I crashed my car and almost got myself killed because I was drunk. I start to cry when he backs up, but I wipe my tears away and force a small smile. 

"I'm ok." I whisper. "Stop saying that when your not!" He yells and collapses onto the floor. I can't get up to comfort him this time. "Killua...." I want to hug him, I'm ok, I'm gonna survive. They said I could go home tomorrow. "Killua come here please." He pulls himself off the floor, still crying. He comes over to me and I gently hug him. He rubs my arms again, feeling my cuts. I chose not to contact our parents because the doctors would tell them I was drunk and that I cut my arms. Plus I'm technically an adult so I don't have to. I take one of his hands, and push it against the bloody bandage on my stomach, right where the glass wound is. 

"If you love me, you love all of me, and that means you have to accept what you don't like about me." He starts to cry and puts his forhead on mine. I had told him this when I was eight and he was 4. He's lived by this for his whole life. "I love everything about you, right down to your smallest scar." 

(time skip)

It's night now, Killua chose to stay the night on the couch in my room. Sometime around 2 however, he moved into my bed. Hes asleep now, and I reach for my phone. I turn the volume down so it doesn't wake him up. I open my phone and check socials, I have accounts even though I never post. The moment I open Instagram, I notice I have thousands of dm's. "Are you really sleeping with Hisoka?" "Did you and Hisoka really hook up?" "You slept with Hisoka yesterday night?" "How did you pull Hisoka?" Oh my god. Did he tell them that we almost hooked up? I text Hisoka, I don't give a fuck if its almost 4 am.

Me: Did you tell the school we hooked up?

Hisoka: You woke me up for this?

Me: Yes I did, explain.

Hisoka: No I didn't, you did.

Me: Why would I...

Hisoka: You were drunk in class, and told me "last night was fun" the entire class heard

Hisoka: they just assumed they did, and I couldn't explain that we didn't because it spread too damn fast

Me: I- I'm sorry, for blaming you and making the school believe you hooked up with me

Hisoka: It's fine, idc, i figured you would care more

Me: Did we do anything when I wad drunk...?

Hisoka: You pulled me into your car and tried to fuck me, but I said no

Me: I'm sorry :(

Hisoka: Its fine, I wanted to, your hot af, but I didn't want to steal your virginity when u were drunk, and I didn't want to give mine up just yet

Me: Oh uh, thanks for saving that

Hisoka: No problem, now go to bed, you literally almost died, and your hung over

Me: Fine :( Goodnight

Hisoka: Goodnight, I love you <3

"I love you" I left him on read, he probably wanted me to say it back, but no ones ever told me that before except my family. I turn my phone off and close my eyes. Do I love him?