the girl who lost things

cold case

Alex starts speaking, " we want to ask you a few questions about a cult you were apart of."

He looks at me and smiles, I don't remember much, but I remember what I needed to.
" are you stronger?" I feel his ice-cold fingertips on my hands. The only way I'm going to get information on this is if I play along.

" yes."

" Prove it." he shakes the table. " prove it! Jessie."
I knew he was going to say that, and I planned it.

" bring it in," Alex says. An officer brings an ice-cold knife with a blue tip. I could feel the temperature change in the room.

I take the knife and put it on the table. he wasn't going to take it. he wanted me to show him how strong I was. I take the knife and slowly penetrate it into my hand.

This part came as I shock to Alex. she tried to get me to stop. But she knew I wasn't letting go. I was only supposed to play with the knife's blue edge to show him that I can handle the freeze.

But, if he saw how I endured the cold penetration... it would make everything believable. I felt my pupils becoming wide. Shaking.

Then, Alex pulled the knife out, handing it back to the guard. " why would you do that!" my hand was bleeding. It hurt so bad; I can't show it. I have to be strong. She removes her scarf and wraps it in my hands.

" I am stronger."

" what do you need?"

" information about the cult you were in."

" what cult?" he switches to position, a sign of tension.

" come on, remember when you used to lock us in the freezers and made sure everything we did was revolved around the euphoric-" He interrupts.

" feeling of almost dying." I finally got to him. Alex looked as confused as ever. " you were just a baby; how do you remember?"

"I remember a lot. Now, please. tell me about it."

" why?"

" because you were the leader! now your not; you're in a jail cell, and whoever is going your job is-"

" is what."

I didn't know what to say. Come on, think. Think.
" he's hurting the little kids; he's molesting them." that was a stretch even for me. But, it had to be serious.

—
— derek's pov
" ok, thank you. h-hold on, I'm sorry for going off at you last week."

" it's ok."

" no, I was upset...you weren't cooperating. I should've not victimized you. I still new at this parenting stuff."

" Derek, it's ok! I promise and hurry; before you guys are too late." she clicks off the phone, and we finally arrive at the secondary location. It was me, JJ, and hotch with swat.

"LET'S GO." I hear hotch yell.

We run immediately, facing people, most of them put up no fight, we were approaching somewhere cold. I and JJ felt shivers. We make our way to an enormous meat freezer.

" shhh," JJ says. She puts her ear into the door. We could hear faint whimpering. " I'm going in!"

" no! Jj, it's like negative thirty degrees in there." without hesitation, she pushes the door open.  the rush of cold air sends me back.  " JJ!" I could hear a struggle going on. Then, SWAT enters the freezer.

finally, JJ comes out with her hand bleeding and a victim in hand.

— jessie's pov
we all are on the jet; I was getting tired. I could barely keep my eyes open. JJ was on the other side; she had gotten hurt in the struggle. Hotch's footsteps come and sit across from her.

" JJ, you could've gotten hurt," he says; I close my eyes. Pretend like you can't hear; pretend like your sleeping.

" But, I didn't," she responds; I could feel the agitation in her voice.

" I don't think you're ready to come back, and it's ok!"

" hotch, I'm completely fine. I took a risk, and I'm sorry. But, a life was at stake."

I could hear hotch tap her shoulder and walk away.
—
" Jessie?" I pretend like I was shaken up from sleep.

" yea, JJ?"

" What happened to your hand?" I look at her, just tell her the truth it's not that bad.

"I cut it on the railing at the prison." liar.
—
JJ's pov

I walk to the desk, knowing that I had just spilled the fact that my child died to spencer. I sit, trying to get ahold of myself.

" Hey.. how you feeling?" it was spencer, his amazing voice—the tranquility of boy wonder.

" Good, good." I force a smile.

" umm, I don't know how to say this, but.. for some closure, I had Garcia make a file on everything about aksari. So that you can know why maybe? It's in the spare office." his voice sounds unsure.

" Thanks, Spencer." I stand up and hug him. It was awkward, especially since I didn't want to hurt my hand.  he mouths the words goodbye and walks into the elevator

I wait for him to leave; I wait for the team to leave. I pretend to pack up my stuff. Finally, hotch leaves, and I walk into the spare office. My old office. There layed a file. A thick file.

I sat on the table and took a deep breath; he can't hurt you. He's in jail.

I open the file.

Aksari Mohammed
Age: 38
Height: 6'3
Weight: 264

I skip through the statistics and analysis. I want to know why- why he was so evil, so ruthless.

When he was just a boy, he was sexually abused by numerous family members. Afterward, he joined a propaganda group and made it his life mission to fight on the opposing side. Doing the things that happened to him as a child to his hostages.

But, later, he was able to find love.

What?! I never knew about this. I focus my eyes on this page.

He found a young girlfriend, Alexis, and later, she became pregnant with their baby. Later on, Alexis became assigned to witness protection after seeing what her boyfriend was capable of. Her daughter was put into the foster system, and Alexis, later on, killed herself.

I stopped reading; he had a child. How could someone like him, a serial killer, a rapist, have a child. The next page felt thick. It was photos. I take a deep breath and flip the page.

I pull a photo out; it was Jessie. this can't be right. Jessie. I didn't know how to react. I just kept flipping through photos.

Tears surrounded my eyes. Why didn't anybody tell me?