the girl who lost things

part twenty-five

— jessie's pov

Garcia shakes me up, day three. This case was challenging. We get ready and make our way towards the bau." What do you want for breakfast?" She asks. I shrug; the feeling of emptiness seems to disappear." Eggs and orange juice. Please." She smiles, and we go through the drive-through. I take out the case file from my backpack. Four more bodies were discovered; they only had in common the high build and fitness level. We are no further in solving this than before.

" Hey, hey." she grabs the case away from me. " it's not your job to solve this!" I smile, and she passes me my orange juice and eggs. she gets a doughnut and a vegan omelet. " let's talk about something teenage-y."

" Like what?" I had nothing to talk about, nothing to do. Everything is boring, surprising. I'm passing school, don't have many friends. Nothing is going on in my life." Your upcoming birthday!" my heart skips a beat when she says that. I try not to think about it. I didn't plan on being alive for it." What about it?" my demeanor changes, and I willingly take a bite out of my eggs: the grease and the calories.

"You're turning 14! that's huge! what do you want t do?" I look at her." Nothing," I look outside; I don't want anything for my birthday." You gotta cheer up! We can go anywhere, do anything!" tears start to erupt from my eyes. But I make sure she doesn't see it. I want my mom; I want her to comfort me. I want her to hug me, telling me it's going to be ok. I make a mistake and sniffle. By, this time was in the parking lot.

" Oh, honey." I breakdown. I want Emily. She leans across and hugs me. I tight one putting my head on her chest. I grab onto her. I just let it out, all the hurt. She kisses my forehead. She tries not to cry too. But I knew she couldn't hold it. I pull myself together, hold myself together. 

control

control

control

control

I pull myself away from her, giving a rippled laugh; " Ha, don't tell JJ." I say, wiping my face. She nods, and we exit the car. She pulls me close to her, and we walk by each other's side. I look up at the sky. I love you.

-- JJ's pov 

It would be a long walk down from the mountain. Derek and I help each other cross over the fence. "How's everything." he asks." Good, excellent." I look at him then back down the trail. He gives me that look. Ugh. he knows something's up." You know you can be truthful with me." I look at the scenery. " Jessie, it doesn't take a profiler to figure out that she's not comfortable with me." 

" JJ, are you mad because she doesn't talk to you?" he lets out a slight smile before I side chuck his abdomen; he lets out a grunt. " No, it's just. I can tell she doesn't want to become a burden. It's the way she acts. She comes back from school and does everything! First, play with henry, and then she cleans up and locks herself in her room. every time I try to talk to her, she says she's ok, but I know she's not." I didn't want to fail Emily. 

" Let me take her off your hands a little." I pause in my walking and turn to him.

" What do you mean? Do you think I can't handle her?" I come off as defensive. I can handle someone who needs help. Someone who is depressed. He puts his hand up in surrender. " Woah!" he walks a little faster. " I never said that; I'm visiting my sisters this weekend. I was wondering if she could come." he stops in front of me. " JJ, are you ok?" I shook my head; I could feel my eyes getting glossy. " I-i don't want to lose her, I-i don't want to fail Emily." I sit down on a nearby boulder." I like to that is true, but that's not the whole truth." he sits on a rock parallel to me. Looking at me in the eyes. " when you look at Jessie, you see your sister; you could've saved. you want to prevent it this time."

-- jessie's pov

I look at the crime board. Of course! Garcia comes over and looks at the board. " Penelope, go through people who were at the same gyms as the victims."

" We already did that," she says, typing on her computer. " Nada." 

" Go through guest passes!" I dial the team. " Hello."

" I think it's a guest. they pay upfront; it wouldn't show in the membership list." I walk out of the room to get some water. I felt soo lightheaded. I grab the bottle and walk back inside. " Peter Scavino." she says. " address has been sent." she turns around at me and hugs me.