the girl who lost things

part forty

" i-i don't know." Reid looked like he was trying to hold back his tears, forcing a smile on his face.

" what about Jessie?" JJ takes a seat.

" I don't know; I want her to come with me. But- I don't know." I didn't know a lot of stuff.

— jessie's pov
I knock on the apartment door; I could hear crying. she was probably taking care of the baby. I pull out my key and unlock the door myself. The place was decorated nicely.

I could see jade playing around in her little dress.
" aunty!" she runs to me, and I take the time to zip her dress up.

" in here!" I walk into the room to see Clara trying to change her diaper; she was fighting her; I couldn't help but laugh.  " it's not funny. she's teething and crawling, extra cranky." I move her back and grab a pacifier I bought from the store.  It shut her up immediately.

" what would I do without you." she puts her back into the crib and goes to the bathroom.

" Is everything ok?" I could tell she was stressed. She was washing her hands vigorously. I hold her hands under the water before she starts drawing blood.

" I'm 18." I nod my head; what was she trying to say. "I'm supposed to be stressing about college and boys." she walks back into the room and starts folding clothes. vigorously again. "I'm not supposed to have two kids; I'm not supposed to be teaching a kid how to write. I'm supposed to be having fun." she stuffs the clothes into her drawers and goes to jade's room. 

I understand that she's too young to be doing all this and have all this responsibility and hurt. She was working four days a week at a local diner, trying to provide for the kids. she wouldn't have made it without Rossi's help. I understand; she barely had time to deal with her trauma of getting kidnapped and repeatedly raped for four years. 

They couldn't find her parents; she was alone. But she had me.

" that can still happen." why, did I say that. How could I make that happen?

" what do you mean?"  think Jessie think. She lost her childhood. you still have an opportunity to have one and provide her with one. " I have the knowledge of a sixteen-year-old."

" We can work together, get better together. Live life together. I can help take the kids off your hands some days, and you can focus."

" focus on what?"

" college and boys." with those words, I nudge her in the shoulder. She tries to smile, but it looks like she smelled something bad.

" remember spencer?" she nods. "I can ask him to help tutor you; then you can take that big exam which determines if you graduate or not. with the help of him and some night classes, you should have your life together before Eshiriam turns one."

" are you serious?" her smiles start to form a lot better. 

"yeah! I'm completely serious." I let out a high pitched laugh.

-- emily's pov

I pack my desk, putting the picture frame of me and the time inside the box, then the picture of Jessie and me. This is it. I lift my boxes. It was just two, but they were so heavy.

" need help?" Derek comes from behind me. 

" yea. Haha." he takes one stack of me, and we walk towards the elevator; I already said my goodbyes. The team stands waving me bye.

I small exhale leaves my system. " you're not getting rid of me yet." Derek says. I smile as the elevator slowly goes down. 

" Derek?"

" hm?" I don't want to look at him in the eyes; I don't want to show him that I care too much.

" thank you for everything."  he pushes me to the side. 

" don't mention it." I could've had him. Could've had a family with him. But I guess I'm proud of him. he found happiness. Someone to love him more than I did. to break the silence between the unspoken words.

" if Jessie doesn't want to go with me, can you take good care of her?" that was always a possibility. She would want to stay.

" without a doubt."

-- jessie's pov

I had just finished putting Jade to sleep; she finally got off her sugar high and passed out. The baby knocked out an hour ago. Clara was cleaning the cups and wrapping paper on the floor. I start to help her.

" afterwards, do you want to watch a movie?" I try to throw the dirt in the trashcan like a basketball, but I miss it. Clara lets out a small giggle trying to mask her laughter so the kids don't wake up.

" We are watching clueless cause if I hear one more thing about princesses and tutu's, I'm going to lose it." I laugh silently and pour some chips into a bowl and get some caprisuns.

She turns off the lights and throws a blanket over my head, she tumbles over the couch, and we press play.