When Lin received the news, he didn't cry. He kind of just stared into oblivion, dropping his phone. Vanessa came in, hearing the loud thud. She saw him start shaking (mind you, not crying), start breaking, short circuiting.
They had rushed to the hospital, and Lin? Well, Lin could barely walk. Minute by minute, his vision blurred, his head foggy, heart crumbling. He needed Chris, needed somebody else, needed Jonathan... but he wasn't there, was he?
Vanessa had to bring Francisco and Sebastian along, but she didn't know if she could do it. She was always a strong willed woman, but he needed Jonathan too. She needed Lin, most of all.
So when they entered the brightly lit room, and saw him, covered in who knows what, she realized she actually really couldn't do it. Chris was already there, because holy fuck, he loved Jonathan just as much, maybe more. He took care of the kids, alongside Daveed (who arrived next). Tommy and Alex met them, eyes red.
Lin hadn't said anything the whole time, and everyone knew what was happening. This was the tipping point.
When he slowly started walking towards him, he talked. Finally fucking talked. "No, no, no." And that was it. Just a string of no's and why's and shit's. He gripped onto Jonathan's hand, hating it. He felt so cold, his pale skin even more pale. Pale, and lifeless, and cold. He didn't know this Jonathan.
"Come back."
/
When the funeral came around, Lin looked just as dead himself. He didn't think, his mind was quite literally blank. Just a white sheet of paper, which started to crowd itself with useless thoughts.
"Groffsauce. I love you."
Everyone either had all the words to say, or nothing to say. His parents had nothing to say. For a long time, they just stood, staring at a portrait of him. Chris thought he was strong enough to say at least something, because Jonathan was such an amazing person, and he wanted everyone to know that. But as soon as his mouth opened, his chest tightened.
"Fuck, I can't do it, I can't do it."
And Pippa? She cried the whole time, biting her hand so nobody would hear her. Renee, Jasmine, Sasha, Vanessa, Daveed, Oak, Anthony, Thayne, Everyone, and some more.
Daveed was a pretty anxious person (he put on the tough act, seeming confident 24/7), but this? This was fucking hilarious. Daveed couldn't believe it. Jonathan Groff, the token white boy, one of his favorite people. Gone.
"Come back, please."
Alex remembered when Jonathan had asked him, "So, how do I know if Lin is hitting on me, or being his usual self? Because, Lac, I really can't tell." It was oddly sweet and endearing, and overall hilarious. But now? He was choking on his own sobs.
Karen remembered when she had first met him, she even introduced him to Lin. So there she was, attending the funeral of a great man, wondering what the hell went wrong. She didn't realize how hard she cried in that same hour.
So. When it was Lin's turn to speak?
One deep breath, followed with another, then five, then he had to stuff his fucking fist into his mouth, just because of his strangled sobs. His whole body violently shook, and he had to bite the inside of his cheek.
Breathe.
"I," He managed to push out, "Love him. I miss him-"
And that was it. His knees gave out, and Vanessa had to rush up to him.
Come back. Please.
