au where grofflin has been best friends since they were children, and lin has had depression since as long as he can remember. this is his journey and omg whats wrong with me why cant i just write happy stuff. also, some things will be different here, for example, lin met jon before he met chris blah blah blah, also grofflin is about the same age small stuff so yup
Lin… well, Lin was a good kid. He was amazing. Polite, talented. He never smiled though. He would give you a glance, and maybe if you’re lucky, a head nod.
Lin would get bullied. Lin was sad, a lot. Lin was unique and different, and all the kids weren’t used to that. Except for Jonathan, and that, that made Lin smile.
Jon wasn’t from New York. He was from Pensylvanyia, where there were farms, and goats, and nice small families who went to church every Sunday. It was different, very different from New York. They didn’t have goats, nor did they have small farms.
“My name is Jonathan.” He introduced himself. That was what they did in PA. You introduced yourself, and then you stayed quiet, obeying everyone’s needs. Jonathan was polite too, just like Lin.
Lin didn’t know if he liked Jonathan. He seemed straightforward. But nice, right? He seemed nice. He didn’t bully Lin for being darker than him. He didn’t bully Lin for being quiet. That was good.
Looking up, Lin let out a sound. His name was Lin, and he really liked Jonathan’s blue eyes. He didn’t talk a lot. How do you talk again?
“Hi.” Right. You say Hi, in America. That’s how you do it.
Jonathan laughed. Lin wanted to cry. Was he laughing at him already? Jonathan was supposed to be nice, he was supposed to be the nice, blonde boy that Lin could trust.
Lin didn’t cry. Instead, he turned his head away, and scowled. He didn’t need Jonathan.
Jonathan didn’t know what he did wrong. “I’m sorry. I don’t-” What was he supposed to say? “I didn’t mean to make you sad. I… I laughed because it was funny. You’re a funny boy.”
Funny. Was Lin’s tears funny? He didn’t bother looking back at Jonathan.
“You didn’t say your name.” Everyone had a name.
“I don’t wanna say it. Leave me alone.”
Jonathan was dejected. He felt that way at least. He felt bad, he didn’t like feeling bad. “Why am I being mean? I don’t know what I did, I promise. I’m not laughing at you. You were cute.”
Lin froze. He wasn’t cute. He wanted to cry all the time. Jonathan was cute, with his really big, blue eyes, and his toothy grin.
“I’m not cute.”
Jonathan brightened up. He was a bright person. He at least talked back to him. Lin talked back to Jonathan, so maybe he wasn’t doing anything wrong at all. “I’m sorry. Will you tell me your name then? I want to apologize.”
Lin thought he used big words. He knew how to use the word hyperventilate. Apologize was an okay word. Nobody else in their grade used it though. They always used, “let me say sorry.” Lin didn’t want a sorry. He could accept Jonathan’s apology though.
“Lin. My name is Lin.” Jonathan’s eyes grew bigger.
“Lin! That’s a cool name! I’ve never heard somebody with a name like that.” Lin wanted to cry again. Everyone always thought his name was weird, or girly. Jonathan was nice. He had curly blonde hair, and he was really nice. Lin liked Jonathan.
