The Girl In The Dirty Shirt Liam Version

Chapter 113

"Lyla?"

"I ATE IT LIAM, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK HAPPENED TO IT?!"

"All of it?"

I just glared at him and turned to leave, leaving the garbage bag in the middle of the kitchen.

Liam grabbed my arm and turned me around.

"Lyla"

"What?!"

"You're fuckin' binging again!"

I ripped my arm out of his grasp and took a step back. "AGAIN?! I NEVER STOPPED LIAM; I CAN'T JUST TURN IT ON AND OFF!"

"Let me help you!"

"HOW, YOU CAN'T FIX SOMETHING THAT'S BROKEN LIAM; YOU JUST CAN'T!"

"That's exactly when you fix something Ly; an' I ain't gonna let y'do it on your own"

"I CAN'T DO IT ON MY OWN, LIAM!"

He grabbed me by the upper arms pulling me closer. "Then let me help you" he whispered.

I looked up at him pulling my bottom lip against my teeth.

For the first time ever, I was aware that I was the only one yelling, Liam was keeping his composure; I was cracking and I couldn't handle the pressure anymore.

"Okay?" He asked again

I nodded "Okay"

He pulled me against him kissing my temple and I wrapped my arms around him.

"Just..." I sighed "Don't let me fall...please" I spoke into his shoulder.

He squeezed me tighter and just kissed me again.

I tried hard to keep my composure and just couldn't; I broke down crying and held on to him; My life depended on him.

Liam held me and spoke into my hair. "I'll be right here as long as you need me Lyla"

I sighed hugging him tightly; I never wanted him to let me go.

**

We rang in the new year like only Oasis can and got completely loaded on anything and everything; vodka, whiskey, beer, gin, ecstasy, coke.

This year we were all coupled off properly. Liam didn't leave my side, Noel was with Meg, Guigs and Ruth were snogging in the corner, Bonehead and Kate were across the table from us; and Alan was with Liz.

***

January 9, 1996

Liam means well, I know he does, but it's so hard.

He's micromanaging what I eat and I know he's doing it to help me, but it's killing me.

I've gained so much weight back that I busted my ass to lose and Liam doesn't care...

***

"Babe?"

I looked up from my place on the bed as Liam sat on the edge.

"What y'doin'?" He asked reaching for my journal.

I pulled it back holding the journal to my chest.

"Nothing"

"I can't read this one?" He pouted

I shook my head. "I don't want you too, not right now"

This journal was nothing but a dumping ground for my angst towards Liam right now and the last thing I wanted him to read was how much I loathed him.