Summer with Simon Andrews

The Party

Bella's POV

I'm not mad at Jamie.

While we were at breakfast the other day, he managed to explain everything, why he's so afraid to let Simon in between us, etcetera. I didn't really understand much because when he tried to answer some of my questions he just said that it's not his story to tell, meaning it was Simon's if I ever wanted to ask him, which I'm honestly scared about, so I'd rather not do that.

And then again, I understand why he didn't throw him under the bus like that, they're still best mates.

The part I did understand though was when he said that I wasn't one of those girls he tried to put on that foul shelf of his.

I think he really does like me, but I'm sensing a little bit of a deja-vu here and not in the good way.

I know I can't be too quick to judge someone or their intentions, so I'll just let it unravel in front of my eyes as we go along with our everyday lives.

Ugh. It's so hard not to think about Justin though. The way Jamie is possessive over me, even if his intentions are good, but this is exactly how it started out with Justin.

First it was the possessiveness, which my friends called hot. Then it was the not being able to have guy friends, then the if-you-don't-text-me-back-asap you're definitely cheating on me, then the not being allowed to go out with my friends if I didn't tell him where I'm going, with who I'm going and how long I'll be out for.

And it carried on like that until... well until he managed to squeeze the last piece of my confidence, having anxiety and we can all remember what happened the last time I saw him in front of Bonnie's porch.

I just hope I'm not ignoring these signs because I'm trying to give Jamie the benefit of the doubt and somewhere deep inside hope that it's going to be different this time. That it's just the voices in my head trying to make me feel insecure about myself again, telling me to dump him on purpose, just so I can be lonely for the rest of my life.

"Bella!" I snooze from my thoughts when I hear Ron shout my name, "A little bit of help over here?" he shouts once again and I just nod my head as a signal that I'm coming.

It's Bonnie's birthday today so her parents went away for the weekend because Simon told them about the party he's throwing for her. They said that if we want the house to ourselves it's fine, just as long as it's in the same clean and nothing broken condition when they come back.

It's not going to be a huge party you see in the movies, we might know everyone in school but we don't like everyone in school. It's literally just the closest of our friends we know, plus some people that Simon, Ron and Jamie invited.

Bonnie went for a breakfast date with Danny since she knows that Danny can't be seen anywhere near her since Simon forbid him to hang out with her.

That's obviously what she thinks. Little does she know that I told Simon to let him come to the party. He said he'll text her when to come home, but now that I'm looking around, I can't see him anywhere.

"Have you seen Simon?" I ask Ron, who's blowing up the pink and gold balloons.

"Yeah, he said he'll be here in a couple of minutes, he went to pick someone up that he wanted to invite."

"Right. How's your mom?" I change the topic whilst helping him with the balloons.

He blows them up and I tie them all together, making a giant balloon bouquet.

I can tell he's fighting the urge to tell me he doesn't wanna talk about it, but he does anyway, "She's doing a lot better, she only has to stay in the hospital for two more days and then I can take her home."