Hook an Angel✔️

Chapter 56

The last time he cried was when he was three and his father beat him and he cried, then beat him again and told him boys didn't cry. Any time he felt like crying, he trained himself to not cry and not to feel. And anytime he saw a woman cry, he thought of his mother, so he didn't like it.

Something in him broke just now, with Angel.

He felt so vulnerable. So weak. He was crying in front of the woman he cared so deeply about.

"Hook, tell me what's wrong," she said, wiping away his tears. "I want to help you. Please open up to me."

"Why did my parents hate me?"

Now he couldn't control his tears. He let Angel hold him and caress him, as he held her tight to him. Everything was eating him up right now, his past, his childhood, why he did not know how to love. He was fucked up because he had a fucked up life.

"Come on, let's go sit down." Angel lead him into the living room so they could sit on the couch.

He let out a breath, calming himself a bit, so he could at least stop the waterworks and talk and get his feelings off his chest. He was not good at talking about it. For years he kept it all in and only let enough of it out. This was his first time delving really deep into it.

"I never cried since my parents died. Not even at the funeral. I was four, no one thought it was a problem I didn't cry. They thought because I was this abused little boy, that parents killed each other, I was better off without them anyway."

"My aunt never once told me why my father was the way he was, did what he did to my mother, did what he did to me. She just never discussed it. He was her brother after all. I'm grateful for her, and that she took me in, adopted me, raised me as her own...but she's not my mother. My mother tried to kill me."

"Hook-"

"She raised the gun and pointed it at me. My mom wanted me dead."

"Hook, she was just scared, afraid, I'm sure-"

"Maybe she should have. I would be with her. "

"Hook, don't say that! Don't ever say that!" Angel hugged him. "You're here because you're supposed to be here."

He pulled away from her. This was not easy for him, opening up. Maybe if he had talked about it when he was four, five, ten, fifteen, he would not have looked for love any way he could. With Shareefa at fourteen, one night stand with Kendra, various other women over the years. Even during the breakup with Angel, to mask his pain, he slept with as many women as he could. He should have been focusing on himself, like Angel had, then maybe he would feel worthy of her.

"Angel, I don't know if I can be the man you need. That little kid in me, I feel like I will never be enough."

"I'm not asking you to be perfect Hook. I'm not perfect. And the things that happened to us when we were kids, they happened! We didn't deserve it, but we have to not let it ruin our lives. I'm getting help...and I think you need to get help. Professionally. This is a lot to handle, and you were never allowed to get it out and come to terms with it."

"I don't know Angel...talking to you about it, does feel good. We can just work through it, my issues. I want us to make things work."

She shook her head. "Hook, please get some help. You know I want you as well, but I've learned it's not my job to fix someone else. You have to want it yourself."

"I do," he said. "For us."

They sat there holding hands and he felt at peace, just getting things out he never discussed before. He felt a load was lifted off his shoulders. He wanted to talk, even more, get everything out there.

"When you said you learned to cook on your own...I really felt, at that moment, I'm useless to you. Like, maybe that's why I never helped you to cook...my way of having that over you. I'm sorry, I can't explain it...I sound stupid-"

"No, it's okay." She shrugged. "It's a coping mechanism. Something you used over the years to get over that trauma. Something I learned about in my counseling."

He wondered if therapy would help for him. At this point, he would try anything.

"Has therapy really helped you?"

"Yes, one hundred percent yes! And I'm not done. I will continue to get help."

"I'm going to do it. I have to think about my girls as well. Everything I do affects them."

"Yes, it does. I thought I didn't like kids because of what had happened to me as a kid, and I didn't even realize that's what it was. I didn't want to have a kid and have them go through something like I did. Even though I don't remember the specifics, I remember the fear, the knowing something bad was happening. Blaming myself. Having men control me, because that monster did. Now I just want to protect every kid in my life so things like that don't happen to them. Like with you."

"My girls are my everything. I don't know what I would do without them. Be more fucked up, I'm sure. I had to really grow up once they came."

"Do you wish the baby was yours? Honestly. Tell me."

He shook his head, looking at her. "Only if it was you having my son."

She smiled, looking down at her hands. He meant that. He knew Angel did not want kids, but he realized he wanted more.

"You know...I kinda lied, but not really a lie about the money. I did give it away to needy kids...I just...I put some aside for Ravyn and Symone. I want them to have it. I set up trusts for them when they turn eighteen. They can use it for college or not, just to go live and have fun. They deserve a headstart in life." She looked at him and he had no words. "Please Hook, let me do this. I know how proud you are but-"

"It's fine. Thank you." He pulled her in his arms and kissed her. "I want to make you happy Angel."

"You make me happy."

"I want to be the man you deserve. I will do anything. I promise we can make this work, for a lifetime."

"One thing...will you have a baby with me?"

He laughed at her because this was a one-eighty degree change. Never what he expected to hear from her. "Baby, you don't have to say that because of what I just said."

"No, I'm serious. I want to have a baby."

"But you told me you never wanted kids."

"And things change. Feelings change. And I've met someone I really want to share that with. One day. After we both get ourselves together so that we can raise a strong healthy boy."

He kissed her. "Or a girl."

"Then we'll keep trying till we have a boy."

"We are good at that."

She rubbed his face. "I love you, Antione Lawrence. I think you know that you hooked this Angel for a lifetime."

"I love you, Angel. Thanks for loving me."

A/N: Happily ever after? It's happy enough. Bonus chapter up!!