Welcoming The Lovely Imperial Family {WMMAP FF}

(2/2) 16 ▪︎ I Believe

·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙▪︎❀▪︎*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙

I'm afraid.

Every night, before I close my eyes, it's the feeling I've always had.

What if tomorrow went wrong?

What if mommy died again?

Can I hear her voice again?

See her bright and gentle smile again?

Be in the warm arms of hers again?

Will the future be the same as my past life?

Daddy won't hate me again, right?

I won't die so young like before right?

What if Jennette is still a threat?

Is she a threat in this life as well?

Will this family, this perfect family I've finally had, last?

Will it be gone the next day I open my eyes?

Or will it double after nine months?

Am I going to be alone again?

Will I...

Ever meet him?

All of these questions linger in my head freely. Swallowing any other thoughts I try to think to distract myself. Why?

Why is it so easy?

To be afraid, to have doubts, to forget any positive thoughts that even if they were lies. I don't want to think of any of these horrible events my mind warp.

Like the song mommy always sang to me before I close my eyes, I want to get rid of these thoughts.

For once, after 2 short years, I don't want to even remember any of these nightmares anymore.

Going through life...the 3rd time...

Is scary.

It should be easy. It should be a breeze. A stroll in a park. But dear god, it's more nerve-wracking than before.

It's like going through a haunted house once again. You know what's in there...

But it doesn't make anything less scary.

I don't know if it's my response as a child or it's truly me being a scaredy-cat.

Why not both?

"Oh, dear..."

I heard a voice. Startled, I suddenly felt my entire body move.

Huh? Since when am I in a black void?

It's good enough that I seem to have blocked those thoughts but to dream of myself being in a black room like this is pretty boring.

Then, a sudden burst of light was felt behind me. My reaction to look behind was rejected in a holt. As if I'm being pin to where I am standing, unable to move other than breath.

Slowly, my hair started to feel itself being touch gently.

This is a nightmare.

A dark room, alone, paralyzed to stand still and hair being touch by a random...random! But what I'm feeling is nowhere near a nightmare.

Everything felt comfortable and...

Familiar.

"Is this how I am before? You pitiful child" the voice resonate again.