Dear King

44. Birthday Fun?

"Did you call? If he looks anything like my baby Dave you better hop on him, literally!"

"He's very handsome and no I actually threw his number out. I'm not interested in talking to another guy. But he called me a few days ago"

"Not interested? Are you crazy? I think you are, what did you say when he called?"

She was smiling so hard hoping I'd say I gave him an opportunity. I'm about to crush her hopes..

"I told him I couldn't talk because Ava was waking up from her nap"

"Oh my.. you're not the smartest person I know. I would have been like hey daddy!"

"I'm not that straightforward.."

"Well you need to be. It's time you met new people there's so much you have yet to experience"

"I mean.. I'm not ready. I don't have a problem with meeting people but I'm not looking for a man. I need to be by myself for a while and then maybe I'll meet someone nice"

I feel like her and my mom low-key want me to find someone new and potentially start dating again. I don't want that right now, if it happens cool. But I'm definitely not going to make it easy for that man. Right now I'm just focused on trying to parent on my own. And leave the bullshit and stress behind me because it hasn't done much but make me sick.

"I believe that when you're ready there's going to be a guy who's going to treat you like a queen. Just don't ignore someone and miss out on a potentially good thing. I've done that.. and now that person is married with two kids. That could have been me and him, but I wanted to free. I regret that but what's done is done"

I just don't wanna get into a relationship with someone and there's no trust. I need to work on rebuilding and becoming a much stronger person. I'll never be happy with anyone if I have doubts that they're faithful to me. You can be the most beautiful woman in the world, and a man will still cheat. Which goes to show that it has nothing to do with size, beauty or anything else.

It doesn't matter what you sacrifice, how far you go to please that person. I'll admit I did a lot to keep King in the beginning, sex didn't work, loving him didn't work, being faithful didn't work. But I assume being dumb did work for a while..

"Oh well. I don't care if I'm single for the rest of my life. I'll be fine, I won't have to worry about being cheated on or disrespected"

"Don't turn into a bitter bitch"

"I'm not, I'm being honest. I've dedicated my life to a sorry ass nigga for at least four years. I'm young there's time for relationships and love later. Right now it's time for me to grow up and be a mom, that's it"

"Well alright. Lets go the guys are waiting"

:

Both my hands were by my side as I leaned against the door. I was tricked, I had the impression that all the guys were coming.. and then it would be me and Stacy. No, I get into the Limo all the guys are sitting by girls. There's two dudes I've never seen before sitting on the other side. One of them asked for me! No... this night has gone from okay to disturbing really quick.

I pushed his hands away from me for the third time, he keeps trying to feel on my thighs. I've been keeping my calm because I don't wanna cause a scene in here. He leaned over and whispered in my ear.

"What's wrong baby?"

"You! Now move and keep your hands to yourself"

"Me and Austin planned something real nice for you back at the hotel.."

He leaned up and started laughing and slapped hands with Austin. Stacy frowned and looked at me, I shrugged because I really hope he didn't mean what I think he meant..

"Real nice like what? I don't want shit y'all have to offer.."

"Yeah you do, double penetration"

"Is that right?"

"Yup. I heard you're a freak"

"And I heard the both of y'all wanna be dickless. Keep that in mind if you even think about touching me. I'm not that kind of girl so stop playing with me"

Tazo leaned up and pushed the girl off of him. "What the fuck did he say to you?"

"Nothing.."

"Nothing my ass. What the fuck did he say?"

I gave him a look that hopefully he was able to read, I'd tell him later not while we're in here. He nodded and gave both Austin and the guy a very dirty look. When the limo stopped I was so happy, there was a ton of tension that was just rising by the second.

The driver opened the door and I was the first person out, the longer I stood outside of the club the more I felt something telling me to go home. But everyone kept pushing me to go in saying we'd have a good time. So I went in for them and only them..