Dying For Love

Chapter 51

Megan POV

     "He's dead." I say quietly, staring at the tv screen. "Colin, he's gone."

     I turn to look at my boyfriend, who is sitting on the couch beside me. He glances down at his broken arm, which is in a sling, then back up at the news report on the tv. I can tell he's trying not to look relieved, but we both know that it's for the best that Dean is dead, no matter who he was in the past.

     It's been a month now since that day in the cottage. The day that Dean tried to kill himself and me. The day my friends came to rescue me. The day he murdered one of my best friends. And the day where I killed him so he couldn't hurt anyone else.

     I still remember the weight of the gun in my hands. The panic rushing through me as I staggered down the cliff, trying to get to Colin before Dean killed him. I remember standing over Dean while he was distracted with my boyfriend, then my finger wrapping around the trigger. Finally, the loud gunshot that echoed off the cliff, and the grey shirt that was painted red by my doing. Most of all, I remember the betrayed look Dean gave me, right before he fell off the ledge and into the rushing river far below.

     The police finally managed to find his body a few days ago. He was washed up on shore near a campground. I thought for sure I was going to be charged with murder and sent to jail, but it was labeled as self defence, and I got off the hook after a few interrogations.

     "I'm sorry you had to kill him, Megan." Colin says suddenly, finally looking at me again.

     "I had to. He killed James, and was about to kill you. I had to do something." I say firmly, trying to push away the guilt that's creeping around me.

     Colin nods slowly, then turns back to the tv. After a moment, he asks. "Do you miss him?"

     "Who? Dean or James?" I question, frowning slightly.

     "Dean." He answers.

     "No." I answer immediately. "No, I can't. He's done so many terrible things. To me, and my friends. I can never forgive him, and he deserved to die."

     Colin gives me a sympathetic look. "You're allowed to miss him though. You're allowed to miss the person he was. I think a small part of you is still in love with the Dean he was in high school. And that's fine, I'm not jealous."

     I turn my head away from him as tears start to form in my eyes. I do miss him. A lot. And I hate myself for killing him, but I had to. None of us would be alive right now if I didn't. It was the right thing to do.

     "Megan, look at me." Colin says softly, reaching forward and turning my face towards him. "Yes, he did terrible things, but I'm sure he did great things too. Think about it this way. He was going to kill himself anyway, so he was going to die no matter what. It wouldn't have made a difference. What did make a difference, is that by you killing him first, you saved us. You saved us all."

     Tears start to trickle down my face, as I say quietly. "Not all of us."

     Colin's face immediately goes somber as well, and I know that we're both thinking about James. That was one of the worst moments in my life. Second to killing my ex boyfriend. I can still hear that first gun shot ricocheting in my skull. I still feel that deep sorrow I felt as I watched James die right in front of me. I remember how he went rigid with shock, and his eyes went dull, then he collapsed at our feet, completely motionless. I felt as if my heart and my throat were being ripped out of my body at the same time. It was one of the worst pains I've ever experienced.

     "I miss James so much, Colin. I want him back. I really, really want to see him again." I say in a shaky voice, my vision blurry with tears.

     "I know, me too." Colin says softly, tears forming in his own eyes. He pulls me in for a hug, and I let out a choked sob. "And Charles does too. We all want him back, but the best we can do is remember him."

     After the police showed up to rescue us, they brought Charles to the hospital, and we stayed with him until he woke up. It took a few hours, but once he was finally awake we told him what happened. He went into a full out mental breakdown, and the doctors wanted to give him some sleeping medication, but he refused. The three of us basically spent the rest of the day crying together. In fact, we spent the rest of the week crying. Overall, there's been a lot of tears in the past month. We're slowly getting better though, and thinking more about the happy memories with James. Day by day we're healing, and we will be okay, just not right now.

     Colin and I stay embraced together for a while, both of us silently crying. Despite all the crazy shit we went through in the past year or so, we've stayed together. We are stronger together, and we can get through anything together. We are better together, and we will stay together.

     Forever.