TechnoAnxiety

Wk 10 pt 2: school

tw:

shitttty writing

school

projecting

panic panic panic panic panic attttttaaaaccccckkksss

bad formatting

January 31st. 6:53 pm. Techno drummed his fingers along his thigh, biting the inside of his mouth.

His mind was a constant stream of incoherent noises and words, too fast to make out.

'fuck stress school class who why when fuck stress stress stress stress stress stress STRESS STRESS STRESS STRESS STRESS BAD bad and bad bad stress fuck'

Techno takes a deep breath.
"I can't." He breaths, twisting a lock of hair through his fingers.

'stop worrying' the rational part of him says.

"I can't." The pinkette repeats. "The first day will be the hardest." He reasons out loud.
"I'm waiting."
'stop waiting'
"I can't stop waiting for responses!" He snaps at himself.
'but you have to.'
"Fuck." Techno groans, clenching his fists.

Wilbur:
whats happening??? are you okay??

Techno types out a shaking response.

Me:
yes
No
No

Wilbur:
Techno??

Me:
yes no
I don't know
it's raining
i'm shaking

'I'm shaking' Techno realises, with apathy. When did that start happening?

Wilbur:
okay, just calm down and tell me whats happening

Wilbur types from downstairs, hearing his brother mutter to himself.

but-

"Class." Techno mutters to himself.

Me:
first day of college
monday
Don't know anyone or who will be there

Wilbur :
i only get that youre stressed because of school?

Me:
college

Wilbur:
oh anxiety?

Me:
it's bad
it's dumb
But it's not
But it is
Yes
Stress
no I don't know

Techno hears footsteps in the stairs, stomping, feet on carpet, coming towards him.

A hand on his shoulder.

"Okay, just try to breathe in." Techno breaths in, but that wasn't the problem. "Breathe out."

He breaths out, but that didn't help. That wasn't the problem.

"Try to calm yourself, i know its all new and stuff, but you have to deal with it you'll eventually get used to it."

Techno huffs, narrowing his eyes.

"Yes, but how?"

Wilbur opens his mouth, Techno cuts him off.

"I can't." He whispers.

"You didn't let me-" Wilbur breaks off, sighing.

"But how?" Techno whispers, moving forward and steepling his hands.

"It's bad."

Wilbur nods, going forward to hug the other. With a bang, Techno slams his hands on the table, groaning and throwing his head back, pink hair flopping back. "I can't stop waiting for a response. I've made a list of people-"