The CEO's Desire ⚣ ✓

24

Not me crying like a lil bitch while writing this.
Enjoy!
xoxo

Alex

"Hello?"

I held the phone pressed tight against my ear, unable to make a sound.

"Alex? Is that you?"

I recognized the voice. It had just been some time since I'd heard it sound like that. So... lively? That may not have been the word, but I could always tell when my mum was using by the sound of her voice.

This was different.

It sounded like she had just picked up the telephone, fifteen years ago.

"Mum?" I finally spoke into the line.

"Hi." She replied. I wasn't sure how, but I could feel her smile through the line. I felt my heart feel something it hadn't felt in a really long time. The familiar stinging sensation returned to my eyes. "It's me, Alex. It's me."

"Hi." I croaked out shakily. "H-How are you?"

There was a pause before she replied. "I'm good." I heard her chuckle faintly. "It's been a really long time since I've been able to tell you that with any shred of honesty. Still feels kinda new, I guess."

My eyes were burning now, as the tears built. It was taking everything I had in me to maintain a steady voice. I took one more shaky breath before attempting a reply.

"T-That's good. That's really really good-" I had to cute myself short again. Hearing my mother right now was surreal. "I-I'm so sorry I haven't come to see you- I- I haven't called, I just-"

"Shhh, Alex it's okay. It's okay, baby. Don't you start apologizing for something like that." She said firmly. "I wasn't expecting a call, nor was I planning to call until I had something to show for myself. You didn't need to see-" I heard her cut herself short. "You didn't deserve to see me during the early phases here."

I didn't think there were words that existed, to explain the pain I felt right now. The tears that started to roll down the side of my face, did what they could to encompass it.

I had seen my mother go through a bit of withdrawal whenever she didn't have the money for drugs, and the havoc it wreaked on her... on her personality... I was grateful she had spared me this time.

"I-" I started, searching for the words to say. Nothing I wrote down came to mind anymore. "I'm sorry you went through that alone." I settled on.

"I didn't." She replied. "I definitely didn't. This facility has treatment unlike anything I thought could possibly be offered. I've never seen such an engaging rehabilitation program. The first few nights were-" I heard my mothers voice break for the first time on this call. It sent more streams of tears down down my dampened cheeks. "They were hard."

It was the painful chuckle that cut a hole straight through my heart.

"I um- I had nightmares. Lots of night terrors. The nurses here would stay with me. All day. Sometimes all night. Some would read to me, while others told me stories or little tidbits about their families. I was never alone, though. Christian made sure of that. He's been very involved."

I held my hand over the microphone, as I sniffled. I almost missed the last sentence my mother said. "He has?" I asked her, bringing my voice back to the line.

"Yes. He's followed all my progress reports. He phones in every few days, to see how I'm doing. It was difficult at first, with my withdrawal phases. You know how horrible I can get. Christian never once hung up on me though, regardless of the absolutely vile things I hurled his way."

That made me feel everything, all at once.

"He didn't tell me that." I whispered.

"I'm sure he had his reasons. He told me you'd reach out when you were ready, and I don't think he wanted to influence that in any way. I understood why he kept tabs though, I snuck a look at just what some of these services cost, and Jesus fucking Christ it's insane. I already told Christian I'll work until it's all paid back."

"I could help with some payments." I offered. There was no was in fucking hell, my mother could afford to repay that. She couldn't even afford a place at the moment.

"No." My mother said firmly. "It's been so long, I'm not sure I know the true meaning of the word dignity anymore... but don't rob me of the last few shreds I've got left." I tried to wipe away the tears that poured now. "I've taken enough from you, wouldn't you say?"

"I-" I started, but stopped. I didn't know why to say anymore.

"Enough about all that depressing shit, though. These phone calls have limited time. Let's talk about this Christian fella, because you are all he talks about these days. If it was anyone else, I would've stopped taking his calls weeks ago... but I like hearing little updates on you. How was Hawaii?"

That made me smile big. Really fucking big.

"It was... perfect." I settled on.

"I can hear you smiling." She replied. That just made my smile double in size. "I promise he didn't force me to say this, but you got yourself someone special here. Underneath that harder shell, is one big ass heart. Maybe I got to see more of his best sides, considering I'm your mother, but his care is genuine. And if I'm being honest, he's shown me the extent he's willing to go to, to protect your peace."

I was convinced I couldn't smile any harder now. Sure of it, actually.

"He really is something." I agreed. Everything being said was leaving me practically speechless.

"Do you love him?" My mother asked me. Without even pausing, I said yes.

And the same way she could feel my smile, I could feel hers. "I'm happy." She replied. "That makes me so happy." There was a pause before she continued. "I'm so happy you're happy- truly happy. I could sit here over the line and tell you I'm sorry, but the painful reality is I wasn't even cognitive for half the shit I'd need to apologize for, and an apology would be an insult to what your really deserve... A good mother. So instead of you putting faith in my words, I'm determined to give you actions to put faith into instead."

My mother took a breath.

"That why I have decided to lengthen my stay here. It won't all be inpatient, some of it will be outpatient rehabilitation as well. I'm working on finding some straight and narrow jobs. Christian has offered to point me in the right direction, but he's made it clear he won't intervene past then.

"I won't have the money to do this whole treatment twice, so I'm going to do everything I can in here to prepare me for out there. What do you think baby? I know it's longer than originally anticipated but-"

"It's possibly one of the best things you have ever said to me." I replied, just letting those tears free fall at this point.

••