Chapter 11 🍋

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(Y/n)'s POV:

I was sitting on the couch, reading a book that I wasn't able to focus on as much as I'd like. I loved this book, probably one of my favorite non-erotic. But for the last hour and a half, I'd find myself wandering off the plot. I would be reading the story and then, suddenly, my mind would be imagining something else, making me read in auto-mode and thus not know what I was actually reading. Instead, I would focus on my belly. Or well, more like my non-existent belly.

I would be reading, and the next thing I would be doing was caressing my tummy, thinking of Kakashi, and us, and our new family. 'I'm gonna be a mom oh my god' I kept thinking all over again in excitement and fear at the same time, but it was a good fear. Thrilling.

It must have been the 6th time I had lost myself in my own thoughts, forgetting the book in my hands, when the door opened. I turned around to it and saw Kakashi, seeming as lost in thought as I was.

"Welcome home" I told him with a smile. It took him a minute to move, and then he got inside our home slowly "Are you okay?" I asked, my smile dropping slightly at the realization of his state.

He then realized I was talking to him and came back from his daze. He looked at me, a little confused, and then, once he was fully back to reality he scraped his hair, looking down. That made my hair stand as I thought that maybe he was having second thoughts about this "Kakashi?" I asked, starting to feel uncomfortable. He shook his head, still seemingly lost in thought, but walked towards me until he sat up next to me "W-what's wrong? Are you having second thoughts?"

Kakashi then realized how my voice was beginning to break, and that made him turn to me with his brows furrowed. But then he looked down in shame.

"I... I don't know" he admitted. At his words, I felt a rush of an awful feeling in my chest that spread through my body as my heart beat. I froze for a second in fear. We couldn't abort now, the time had already passed. Without even realizing my eyes began to tear up, but he did notice. He turned to me quickly, his eyes opening in worry. His hand went quickly to my cheek to caress it "Hey, it's not that I don't want to be a father, honey" he said, trying to calm me down. But I only cried further. He buried me in his chest and laid a kiss on top of my head. But I wanted to push him away. How could he have second thoughts now? I understood he was insecure, so was I, but "I'm in love with the idea of forming a family with you, (Y/n). I already love our baby so much..." he said sweetly as he caressed my back and pushed me against him in a tighter embrace because I kept crying "I'm so sorry, I didn't want you to think that. I'm sorry" he said, his voice breaking a little in guilt.

"Are you sure?" I asked because I didn't want to force him either. He nodded with his lips still on top of my head.

"Sure as I've ever been" he repeated, his arms around me never falling.

"T-then why were you so distracted, and sad" I said, separating a bit to look at him. I rubbed my eyes trying to make them stop from being blurry so I could look at his expression better.

One of his hands went from my back to my cheek, trying to dry it with his thumb while he looked at my wet eyes. He didn't say anything, just stared at me, and then his other hand went to the other side of my face, putting my hair away to later cup my face with both hands.

"I can't wait to have our family" he said leaning his forehead on mine "But I don't think I will be a good father..." he admitted again, his voice falling a little at the end.

"How can you know?" I said angry that he thought that of himself, resting my hands at his sides. He kissed the tip of my nose briefly.

"I just know (Y/n)..." he said sadly "I mostly grew up by myself. I don't know what's like to have a family. How am I supposed to be a good parent?"

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