Love and Lies ✔️

Chapter 10

**(Edited)**

Hannah's POV

After sobbing all night I wake up at one o'clock in the afternoon. My eyes are so swollen I can't see straight, my throat is almost closed up, and my body is still recovering from him. I didn't have sex for a reason, and then that all went out the window last night. I wanted to have sex, and I know he did too, I just didn't expect him to leave afterwards.

It makes me feel like I'm not good enough, I don't think he was happy with what I had to offer but I was. I wasn't hairy, I had shaved everything, not because I thought we would have sex but because I don't like body hair that's not my eyebrows or hair on my head. He just didn't like what I had to offer. I probably didn't taste good.

I wipe the tears from my face and sit up on my new clean sheets. The tears start again as I cry into my hands. He's called me about twenty times, and I can't answer. Why would he want to call me after what he did?

I cried myself to sleep last night, and now I feel like a used whore. I'm sick, I'm so sick with myself for giving up the part of me that's meant for the guy I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. I thought that was Brett though, I did.

I love him, and I'm so in love with him that even after last night I still love him. He left me covered in blood and cum, with soiled sheets but I told him to get out, he made the decision before I did though, he wanted to leave.

Wiping more tears away, I stand and start making my bed with my swollen eyes. I don't think I'm leaving this room today, and there's only a few hours left in the day anyway. I fold the blankets and adjust the pillows before spraying them with my perfume. They smell like him, they are covered in his scent and that's even after I changed to pillow cases. I threw away my sheets of my taken virginity. I couldn't look at them and not think of everything that happened.

Walking to the bathroom I open the door and start the shower for the third time in twenty four hours. Once I take a shower, brush my teeth, and try to rub my legs and thighs to help with the pain I feel I sit down at my desk. My vagina has never hurt this much, I just feel sore. It feels ripped but it didn't hurt while we were having sex it just hurts now that it's not happening anymore.

I need to get my mind off of it, I just can't think about it anymore.

With a pair of dark jeans, a light sweater and some boots on I grab my bag and keys. Why not go home today? I don't have anything left here anymore. I know if I stay in this room, I'm going to be a mess. I can't even look at my bed without crying, or looking at one of his socks thrown under my bed.

I pack what few things I need before throwing on a coat and beanie considering how cold it is outside. When I open my door and look down at the floor I see a new thing of roses, ones that look like a expensive version of the flowers from our first date that are still sitting on my desk.

When I pick them up I read the tag, Hannah, I'm a dick and I'm sorry. Please call me, I have some things I need to tell you about my life that are killing me. I just couldn't live with myself knowing that I took your virginity and you hate me for leaving. I would too, it was wrong, but I really need to talk to you. Hannah, I love you and this isn't the way I wanted to tell you but I do love you. It freaked me out when I realized it because I've never loved a girl before. Please talk to me. B

I wipe stray tears as I read the letter and sniff the bouquet of thirty six roses. Flowers don't make me feel better but they are beautiful. I take them in my arms with his letter and lock my door before going to my car. The steps to get there hurt though, I'm still sore. It's not like working out sore, it just feels different.