Funny jokes and texts

Learning well

One day, two very loving parents got into a huge fight. The man called the woman a "bitch" and the lady called the man a "bastard".

Their son walked in and said"what does bitch and bastard mean?"

His parents replied" ladies and gentlemen."

The next day, the parents decided to have sex and the woman said "feel my titties" and the man said" feel my dick"

Their son walked in and asked" what does titties and dick mean?"

The parents replied"hats and coats"

On thanksgiving day, the dad was shaving and he cut himself. "Shit" he said.

The kid came in and said"what does that mean?"

The man said that it was the name of the brand of his shaving cream he was using.

Down stairs, the mum was preparing the turkey and cut herself. "Fuck" she said. Once again the son walked in and asked" what does that mean?"

The mum said that its what she calls stuffing the turkey.

The door bell rang. The kid opened the door for his relatives and said" all right you bitches and bastards, put your dicks and titties inside the closet. Dad is upstairs whipping the shit off his face and mums in the kitchen fucking the turkey."