Chapter 47
2 and 1/2 Months Later
I sat in the chair starring at the bright sun that beamed on my dry skin in the sky hoping that I will die soon. The Lord should just take me now. I don't feel the need to live anymore. I'm practically dead anyways. I have no life, no soul, nothing to live for so why am I still here on this Earth.
For 2 and a half months. 75 days(I think I counted that right) I've been sitting in this same position everyday starring at the sun letting it cook my skin and the moisture evaporate from my body as well as my life. And each and everyday Frisco sits in my lap laying out here with me. He's getting fat but I can't walk him. I don't have the energy. I can barley move. Only places I go is to the kitchen, the bathroom, and in my bed. Thats it. Haven't been anywhere or haven't done anything. I stay out here all day and sleep. Matter a fact not even sleep. I just lay in bed while starring at the ceiling and the next day is repeated. I have over a thousand text messages and calls. I haven't answered not one nor will I. I haven't been to the studio. My album should be finished by now but im unable to finish it. Ive missed so many meetings, shows, interviews. But I don't care. I just wanna die.
Plus I'm not the only one who is suffering. Taylor. She's suffering also. She just like me. She goes the school looking down and miserable and comes back the same. She stays in her room and the goes into the kitchen to get something to eat and that's it. There's no talking. The house is mostly silent except for Vanessa who seems to be happier than ever there past weeks. I don't know why but she is.
But you know what really kills me. I've talked to Lil mama once and she told me not only are we miserable but so is Keyanna and not only her but Tamia too. She saud her mother is basically the same as me. Lifeless. All she does is go to work miserable and come back the same way. She stays in her room and only comes out to eat. And that's what I don't understand. How is she suffering from this if it was her decision in the first place?! I just don't get it. She ripped out a part of my heart. How am I supposed to get that piece back? Who will be there to fill that hole up? Only one person can make my heart complete and that's her. I'm nothing without her.
I've lost my love. Possibly the love of my life.
"Trey really?" Nessa said stepping in front of my light tat I wish would burn me so I can die already and stop suffering and being miserable.
She stood with her hand on her hip. Looks like she jus came from shopping.
"Are you really still out here? Its like 500 and something degrees out here. A week ago it was about 50 below 0 and you were out here then. Are to trying to die from heat stroke or hypothermia?" I looked at her saying yes. She rolled her eyes not getting an answer.
"Look at you. Your 10 skin times darker and you haven't shaved in forever. Your beginning to look like Bigfoot. And look at the dog. He's becoming fat. Not that I give a shit but have you even walked him?" she said. He growled a bit before laying his head back down. That little growl wore him out. I don't blame him thought. I tuned her out.
"Have you even taken a bath or brushed your teeth today?" she questioned scrunching up her face. She then huffed knowing she wasn't getting a peep out of me.
"Get your ass up" she said pulling me up out the chair by my arm. Frisco fell to the floor and whined but then followed behind.
She dragged me inside and set me on the bed. I fell back o the back and Frisco hopped up and laid beside me. I heard her smack her teeth annoyed.
"Well then.....you lay there while I get you a bath ready so you can clean yourself up. Then afterwards I have something for ya to make you feel better ok" she said before walking into the bathroom. I heard as she ran the water. I just looked up at the ceiling unable to move.
She then walked back into the room and pulled me up and dragged me inti the bathroom all while saying to herself........"I can't believe I'm doing this. I'm not a fucking maid. I cant believe this nigga feel into depression over her. This is bullshit"
She stripped me out of my clothes and help me place myself in the tub. She watched me as I starred at the tile while.
"You are kidding me right Trey?" I didn't repsond. "Ughh I hate you right now" she said before grabbing soap and a towel.
She washed me up and afterwards dried me off. She then dressed me in just some khaki shorts.
I laid back in my same position as before on the bed while she was getting ready in the bathroom for whatever she has planned for me. I'm not in the mood for anything. I don't know why she won't just leave me alone. She wouldn't have had to do all that stuff if she would have just let me lay outside but she interrupted anyway.
She came out of the bathroom and stood in front of the bed.
"So how do you like it?" she asked but obviously I wasn't paying any attention. She huffed in annoyance.
"Babe I'm trying to let us have fun and you are sitting here dying over her" she said crawling on top of me. Was I paying attention now? No.
She rolled her eyes. "I think I have something to cheer you up" she kissing my chest. I zoned out on whatever she was doing. Lord take me now please. I tired of this. If we aren't going to talk to me anymore I don't want to live anymore. I love her and don't want to loose her. But if there is hope in the future just please tell me. Give me a hint or something so I can get out if this depression. Let her call me or text me or say something to me please. I just want to-WHOOOO!
I shot up from my thoughts when I felt her mouth on my dick. The last time she did this was I high school and she GREATLY improved. She's like a pro.
She used a hand to stroke as she bobbed her head up and down.
"Oh shit!" I grabbed a handful of her and squeezed my eyes tight. She took more of in her mouth. I felt myself in her throat.
Her warm wet tongue licked all around. I grunted and groaned as she went faster stoking and sucking. That shit was feeling hella good.
"Fuck!" I gripped the sheets as her tongue circled around me. Her tongue flicked my tip making my cuss and jump and bit. I felt myself about to cum.
That's when words swarmed in my head.
"I don't suck dick only hoes do that"
I remember when Tamia told me that and it caught on to me.
"Stop stop stop please stop" I said pulling her head up for her to stop. But I busted in her mouth before she could. She licked me clean before stopping.
"Whats wrong? Why you wanted me to stop you didn't like it?" "No no no. I loved it believe me just don't do it again" She looked at me like I was crazy. "What?" "Dont do it again" "Why not?" "Just don't. I don't want you to do it anymore" "Why would you say that? What guy says that. If you didn't like it just tell me" "I liked. I really did. But just don't do it again please" I said zipping up my pants and walking into the bathroom. She growled angrily and stomped out of the room.
I went into the bathroom and locked the door. I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked terrible but I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck about anything.
All I want is my woman back!!!
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Wassup guys I know it's kinda short but you know I got y'all next chapter but anyways I just wanted to say I love y'all to death. For all the votes and comments I really appreciated! Couldn't do this without your support. Love you guys and keep reading I think the next chapter you will love the most out this whole book. Bye
