UNBROKEN

FORTY SEVENTH INSTALMENT

We arrived at Mums and dropped off the keys. I reiterated to Mum that she could not go to our house without Barry. She agreed, I held her tight and told her loved her. I felt she would be safe whilst I was away because she had move house. She lived with Barry and my Great Uncle J. We said our goodbyes and Grant, Ava and I all got in the car and headed off.

We drove north for hours and finally arrived at Grants parents house. They had a huge property and a lovely big house with an in ground pool. By the time we arrived I needed to go to bed I was exhausted. It's funny how stress and worry affect you. When I get stressed I become exhausted. It truly drains me and all I want to do is sleep.

The next morning we got up and as I went to walk out of the bedroom and down the veranda to the kitchen I stopped in my tracks and screamed out to Grant. He came running out "what's wrong Emily, are you ok" I just pointed down. Grant laughed at me "it's just a came toad Emily, it won't hurt you" I wouldn't move until Grant scared them away. Stupid I know but these are the ugliest things I had ever seen and they spit.

Ava was just walking by this stage and she lived the farm. She use to chase the peacocks and loved riding on the ride on lawn mower with the maintenance man that lived there. She called hi OhOh not sure why but she did. Ava loved to walk around the front paddock. It was fenced and one fence was electrified. That afternoon we all sat out the front having a cup of tea while Ava walked around the front paddock. I walked inside and heard Ava yell out "Ouch!" It wasn't a cry just the word. Then I heard "Ouch!" Nothing "Ouch!" Nothing "Ouch!" I ran out the front again and saw Ava at the fence as I was running towards her I saw that she had her finger in the hole where the electrical fence joined. "Ouch!" As she said this she jumped off the ground. I finally reached her and pulled her finger out. She ran up to the house and all I heard was "Shit, Shit, Shit" this was coming from this little girl who just started walking and now she was running. The only words she could say before this was Nanny, Bar, Dad and mum and OhOh. She wasn't hurt and later that night I had a giggle to myself not that she was hurt but because of the sight of her running up the paddock saying Shit.

During our time there we went to Dreamworld. I was so excited about going and the day arrived and it was raining. Grant didn't want to go but I had my heart set on it so we went. What I didn't know at the time was that there was a cyclone off the coast and the rain was not going to let up. We had a great day. There was almost no one there only 1 bus load of tourist so we had the park to ourself. I went on every ride and had an amazing day rain and all.

When we arrived back at the farm mum call "Emily did you leave bread on the kitchen bench?" She asked "no mum I threw it out before we left and the house was spotless". My house was always clean as I didn't work. "Mum check the rest of the house" I asked. "Did you leave a wet towel on your bed?", "no!" My heart was racing by this stage. "Where is Ava's Baby monitor?" Mum asked. "I left the handset on her bedside table with the fixed microphone", "it's not her Emily and the Monitor is on!" Mum replied. "Mum get out now, get Barry and leave the house NOW! He's been there and he has the baby monitor Mum he's waiting the hear when you or we come and go, call me as soon as you get home".

I was so shaken but I didn't say anything to Grant while we were with his parents. I asked Grant to come with me for a minute and took him out the back and explained what was going on. "That's it when we get back down south you stay with your mum and we are moving house" Grant said. I cried and cried that night. When was this going to stop.

This had really ruined a good trip and I really wasn't looking forward to going back. I decided to go back with Grant to the house and he had a mate come over and stay with us also while we looked for a new place.

Don't think I'm crazy but this DID! happen.
A couple of nights after we got back we where in bed asleep when I felt a pressure on my leg. I thought it must have been Grant putting his leg on me so I turned over and realised he was laying on his side nowhere near me and there was nothing there. I went back to sleep. I again felt this pressure on my leg like someone was sitting on it. This time when I look down I saw Nigel! (Right now I have goosebumps and my heart is palpitating) I wasn't scared at all. He said "I've come to say goodbye" Nigel wasn't see through or smokey it was him sitting there on my leg clear as day. All I could say is "why did you do it?", "she told me too, I love you Emily goodbye" then he was gone. I had a tear in my eye and I woke Grant and told him what had happened. Half asleep he said "you were dreaming Emily go back to sleep" rolled over and then could not get back to sleep those words rang in my ears "she told me too".

The next morning Grant had to go to work and organise some time off. I call Kylie if anyone knew what happened and what he meant but this she would. I told Kylie what had happened and she went silent then she said "that day Nigel got on the bus with the gun in his bag, he had a girlfriend that was also on the bus. He showed her the gun and told her what he was going to do and she told him "well just do it"" I was shocked I had never heard this before and now his words made sense. This was the last visit I had from Nigel when we said goodbye he meant it and I fell really blessed that he came to say goodbye it was the closure that I needed. Whether you believe it or not this happened and I will never not believe it. He loved me enough to say goodbye.

Grant got back from work and decided that we would go looking at houses so we could move ASAP. We looked all day and finally found a beautiful 2 story split level house with a saltwater In ground pool. One side of us was the police commissioner and the other the big boss of IBM so it was a lovely area. We got approved and move in that weekend. This time I could tell no one where I was apart from the closest people to me. I didn't want to keep running. I wanted to be safe and secure just like a normal person.

I lived this house it was truly beautiful. I had a ducted vacuum system so I thought I was special. My eighteenth birthday was not far away and I was miserable as you are suppose to have your 18th with close friends and family. When I called my friends and spoke to them they couldn't get my number as it was a silent number so I didn't have to worry about it. Grant and mum saw how miserable I was and they spoke they then came to me and said "let's get a couple of your trusted friends to come down for your birthday" I hugged them and cried so much. This made feel like it was going to be the best birthday ever. I call Alice, Kylie and Trisha and my Karate Sis and invited them. I made them promise not to give out my details or tell anyone what was happening. They where all excited and a few weeks later they all arrived.

The party was not massive but I had the best possible time as I had all my friends and my close family there to celebrate with me. You can not imagine how good it was to see these girls. I missed them so very much. We had grown up together and they were more like family to me than friends. They stayed for a few days and we just sat around chatting, swimming and doing girlie stuff. The day they left I cried so much it hurt my heart ached as I saw them drive off. Now I was back to just me, Ava, Grant, Mum and Barry. It should have been enough but when you are ripped away from everything and segregated and have to live like a recluse and your not one it is like cutting out you soul.

I had asked Trish and Alice to be my Bridesmaids and told them we were getting married in just 3 months. They were so excited. We takes every day on the phone and mum made there dresses.

Grant took me to his cousins houses one day and he and his wife were lovely. She asked if I had picked my dress out. I told her that I hadn't and she said "that's fantastic! You can borrow mine if you like it was made by the same designer that made Lady Di's dress" what you all probably don't know about me is that I love the royals always have and always will, so when I heard this I was excited. I went and had a looked at this dress. It was almost the same as Lady Di's dress only me frills. I was so excited I wanted to show Grant. "It's bad luck to let him see the dress before you marry" she said to me. Well there I was standing in the dress I was to wear on my wedding day....