UNBROKEN

SEVENTY THIRD INSTALMENT

I opened the door and standing there with his fist about to pound on the door was Matt. I asked him what he was doing here as he should have been home resting after working all night and he told me that he couldn't go home without seeing me first.

My heart fluttered. Something I didn't think would ever happen again after Adam. My mind wondered and I remember thinking to myself sometimes you have to hold your feelings in and not show them Emily. So I invited him in and out the kettle on. All the while I was consciously holding myself back from smiling the wrong way or seeming interested in him at all in that way. We talking for hours about his work, the conversation would change direction to me and I would automatically change the conversation. Matt asked if I was going to the night club that night as he and a few of his mates were going to be there that night after work. He said he would pick Tina and I up from the club and take us as usual to the night club if we wanted. I hadn't thought about going but he obviously wanted me to go so I agreed. Matt had to go and get some rest before he started work again so we said goodbye and I went to get Ava from her room so we could watch a movie together as I would be out that night. Later that day I took Ava to my friends house so she could stay the night as I did when I went out. I sat and chatted for a while and gave Ava a huge kiss and cuddle but she just wanted to run off and play with her friends so I couldn't hold her for long.

When I got home Tina and a few of our girlfriends were there getting ready and had opened a bottle of champagne to start the night. We had the music blasting and we're all getting a little tipsy but having a great time. I walked to my bathroom and did my hair and makeup and was truly looking forward to this night. I knew Matt liked me and I liked him also but I was not going to give my heart over easily to anyone again.

This new Emily had a wall and it would take a lot to get this wall down. It was like each brick was doubled so if the first wall came down there would be another wall behind it to protect my heart, body and soul from the same damage and pain I had felt almost all my short life. I was trying to mend myself and no one else could do that but me. I didn't have a wall with friends or my family but giving myself wholly to a man well that was a different matter. Don't get me wrong I wanted to give love and be loved but I have been wounded almost beyond repair and I didn't ever want to feel that pain again.

We all finished getting night club ready and all looked hot! My confidence was high and I knew that I would be seeing Matt soon so was looking forward to also meeting his friends. We got the the club and as usual we drank and danced and played pool. We had a great time then it was time to close so we piled out the front.

Most of the girls got in to a cab but Tina and I as usual had our own personal cab with blue and white stripes. We got to the club in no time and we all walked inside. The owner of the club greeted us and as usual provided drinks even for my friends. The guys hung around the bar as us girls went to the dance floor. I looked over and caught Matt staring at me and I saw a smile come across his face as our eyes met he winked at me as I looked away blushing. We finished dancing and went to join the boys. We had an other drink as Matt grabbed my hand and leant down to whisper in my ear

"can we have a chat Emily" I nodded and he took me by the hand and we walked outside. We walked around the corner and he said to me

"I really like you Emily" I didn't know what to say so I told him I liked him also. He continued

"I have something to tell you" I stood there waiting for what felt like ages before I said

"Matt just say it" he gulped and opened his mouth and nothing came out.

"It's ok Matt really just say it" I said trying to get him to speak.

"I really like you Emily and don't want to lose you" he continued.

"it's ok Matt I'm a big girl"

"Emily I can't show you affection in front of the guys because" he paused and scanned my face for a reaction but there was none.

"Because I'm..." He paused again.

"Matt what are you trying to say?" I asked this time frustrated. He just said he liked me and didn't want to lose me.

"Because I'm married" oh hell no! This is not what I was expecting. I didn't know what to say I wanted to slap him and run but I managed to just say

"ok" he asked what I thought about it and I must have mumbled something but I don't remember really what I said. I just wanted to run and never speak to him again. I would never ever be the other woman.

Finally we walked back inside and the girls asked if I was ok. I said I was ok and we went to dance but these girls knew me too well and knew something was not right. Time turned to us and said she wasn't feeling the best and wanted to go home. I was so relieved, I walked to the boys and told Matt that we had to go as Tina wasn't feeling well. He wanted to drive us but I smiled at him and told him to have a good night with the boys and that I would call him in the morning.

When we got in the taxi Tina admitted she was fine and wanted to know what happened. I told the girls and they were all gobsmacked. I had no intention of ever calling Matt again..