Our best mistake // Shawn Mendes Fanfiction

Part 2, Chapter 13

I wash super quickly and rush out, my hair soaking wet and only a towel around my waist.

I open my phone and see a text from Maddi, but my heart sinks.

« I'm sorry Shawn, I can't call you right now... Is tomorrow night OK ? »

-What? Why ? »

We had planned that call, and yes I am mad! What's her excuse now? Her boss came? She's cooking? Her feet are sore? I angrily throw my jacket across the room and walk out, slamming the door. I run to my own dressing room and put on a pair of trousers and a hoodie. Why is she acting so weird? What is she hiding me? Why is she distancing when I need her the most?

I think back of today's concert. Maybe she saw Sophie. Is it because of her? Is it because we won't have a little girl that she's walking away? No it can't be! We talked about that! She knows I'll never blame her! Madison! Tell me what's happening!

I grab my phone, ready to text her, when it lights up with a notification :

« Madison deBeaumont published a new YouTube video ».

Well, that's a surprise, I didn't know she was working on a new song... I open the app, and listen to the music....

« I'm looking for places to run and hide
I'll never forget you, Lord knows I've tried
Wish I could see you without closing my eyes
But I know, I know, it's so far behind
Fading out, fading out, can't get right
I'm tossing out, turning out every night
I'm losing my, losing my goddamn mind
Ask me why I did it, ask me why I did it, I said

All for love
Ask me why I did it, I said
All for love
Ask me why I did it, I said

I've run out of tears, I've run out of pride
It's crazy the truth hurts way more than the lie
Fading out, fading out, can't get right
I'm tossing out, turning out every night
I'm losing my, losing my goddamn mind
Ask me why I did it, ask me why I did it, I said
All for love » ("All for love" by Madison Beer but Madison wrote it in the story- see media)

What the hell does this song mean! I scream, throwing my phone across the room, which thankfully landed on a couch. This is too much to bear... she's slipping through my fingers and there's nothing I can do... I thought getting engaged would keep her close and avoid these heartbreaking moments during my tour. It seems like it wasn't enough. I am not enough. Did she find someone else? What did I do wrong? I didn't notice I started crying until my shirt was soaking wet... I let the tears stream down my cheeks, I let the pain out, I can't hold it anymore... I don't understand what's happening, and it kills me...

A soft knock at my door forces me to dry my tears with all the dignity I can find.

-Yes ?

-Hey Shawn, it's me... Andrew says, entering the room, can I tell you...Oh... what happened? He asks, concerned seeing my face that must look horrible. You... you saw Madison's video, did you?

I just nod and tears come streaming out again.

-I...I don't understand... Why is she so distant? I need her, I love her... and... she walks away... I sob.

Andrew sits next to me and gently rubs my back in a friendly way.

-Hey...She didn't want to hurt you. She loves you...

That's it. The last thing I needed is someone pretending they understand what's happening!

-HOW CAN YOU BE SO SURE!? I scream, suddenly getting back up. You don't understand what's happening! How can you? Are you in her head? Are you in mine?

Andrew just stands there, in shock, his mouth wide open.

-Get out of my dressing room... NOW !

As Andrew obeys and walks out silently, I suddenly regret everything I said.

He has always been so good to me, like a father, and righ now I scream at him for something he's not responsible of... I fall back down on the couch and cry my heart out... How? Why? All these questions and regrets. Andrew came to tell me something and I didn't let him talk... I should apologize...

I wipe my tears and pick up my phone at the exact moment when the screen lights up. I recieved a text.