Tomorrow Again | PJM ✔️

02

JIMIN POV

1030pm

I can feel my legs shaking. The adrenaline rushing through my veins with each step I take up the fire escape. Am I really going to do this? Damn I need to chill out sometimes.

I'm feeling an overwhelming sense of determination, significantly much more than my other false alarms. My girlfriend cheated on me on our two year anniversary and my father disowned me as well as banished me from whatever crap of a family I had left. The only thing I have left that reminds me I'm human is being a dance trainer. I find it ironic how dance is a form of expression yet I can't seem to express myself properly to everyone around me. I always push people away. There are times I do it so instinctively it's like I don't even need to think.

Click.

The rooftop door opens with a loud creak of the metal from its hinges. I've reached the top. I've reached the end of my time. As dead set I am on jumping, I need a moment to collect myself. My heartbeat is so loud in my ears right now I need to sit down for a second. My head is pounding like mad. What am I giving up just being here? The first people I think about are Namjoon and Yoongi hyung. They're the only ones who don't feel like I'm a waste of time or space. We are more like brothers if anything. If I leave this world, at least they don't have to pay extra for utility bills. But on the other hand, I will be a major disappointment to both of them. This is the main factor holding me back from jumping. I don't want my last moments on earth to be a disappointment to the only people who love me. This is so conflicting...

On the other hand, I need to think about myself as well. The more I put a smile on my face, the more self-hatred I feel. I'm never happy. I only look happy so everyone else can be happy. I don't want to live a life where that is all I do. It's like living to be an antique in someone else's life even when they're not around you all the time. If we are given one life only, we should live it for ourself. I don't know who I am and each day I continue to breathe and exist I feel my efforts to live on are becoming vain. I'm never going to be able to live my life.

I haven't been dancing much lately either because of all the stress my dad gave me about Park Co. It's so tiring and distracting to be doing the only thing that keeps me sane but knowing it is also the only thing that I'm not allowed to do to express myself freely. I've taken so many days off my boss already warned me he will find a replacement for me soon if I don't take my job seriously.

Replacement. That's what I am. So replaceable. So insignificant.

I get up and stand beyond the railing and onto the ledge. I am replaceable. When I jump everyone who once had me in their life will just find a replacement for whatever role I used to play. It'll be like everything I did never mattered in the first place.

I was too busy in my thoughts that I didn't hear the rooftop door swing open. "Wait!" a voice calls amidst the darkness clouding my head.

I look up and see a girl I've never met before. Her almond-shaped brown eyes shone brightly in the moonlight. Her hair wasn't exactly long, but it still flowed gracefully in the wind. She was looking at me with an emotion I don't come across often. Hope.

"I'm sorry, do I know you? And what's it matter to you?" I shot her a glare, wondering why she was talking to me.

"No, but look behind you," she simply stated. Naturally, I turned around. Wow.

The headlights from the cars on the street as they race through the veiny roads, beautiful store signs lit up and people taking a walk in the cool breeze of the night. Each seeming to have different stories in their footsteps. The dark blue of the sky reflected on every window. It was dead quiet, yet it felt somewhat alive.