Chapter 18

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A/N- Thank you guys so much for reading! We just passed a thousand views for this story, and are so excited! This chapter has a lot of bombshells and will answer some of your questions.

CAUTION: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS EXPLICT SEXUAL CONTENT

I had just gotten down from the mini stage after performing Somebody to Love by Queen, great song. I went outside to get some air and overhear an argument between Tabitha and her husband Ez. Tabitha was my mom's old co-worker at the bank. Ez is a lot like me; over-confident, chill, and musically inclined. I'm glad my parents introduced and go reconnected about five years ago. I get slightly concerned hearing Ez' anger in his voice but realize they do this all the time so I don't really get too alarmed but then I quickly get interested when I hear Justin's name.

"That was their decision she'll be fine. Justin is only a couple hours away you know he watches her."

"Like that'll make a difference," Ez says sarcastically, "You know how exhausted she was."

"She's back in school so she'll be making her own decisions."

"I gotta tell her."

"No you really want to shake up her life like that when it's finally getting good again?"

"Jessy is my daughter."

"No she is not. Well biologically yes but family no. Ryan was the only man she ever knew. You don't want her to remember her mother as a cheater or a liar."

"I know but they left her with those people and they're going to ruin her."

I decided I had heard enough for a lifetime. So not only are my parents dead but also they're liars, perfect. I go back inside and sit at the bar. One of the guys named Brian that I had seen before that's friends with Tyler comes up to me.

"You look upset. What's up?"

"Like you would want to know."

"Well kind of. You're not really the emotional type. More of a perfect positive type all the time."

I laughed out of disgust. He leans over closer and says that he has something that is sure to make me happy. I roll my eyes and order another Shirley Temple. Brian orders two rounds of brandy and whiskey.

"You never struck me as the heavy drinker type."

"See now we know more about each other!"

I look around and see my birth father coming back in. I ask him, "So what's going to make me happy?" He laughs a little and tells me to follow him. We get into his car and he gives me a little baggie of white powder.

"Wow isn't this a little hard core?" Brian giggles and says I have no idea and pours it on his dashboard. Soon he straightens it up into a line with a credit card. When done, he gestures me and says, "After you my lady."

I see Ez and Tabitha coming out and without a second thought I start snorting it up like no tomorrow. Brian says, "Why aren't you a pro?" I roll my eyes and start feeling something a minute or so later my teeth were chattering.

"Good it's working."

"What am I supposed to do?"

"Enjoy it and yes you're supposed to be numb."

I didn't know what he meant until it started in my gums. I was staying on top of the world almost immediately. I ran inside and took the mic. I asked the man who's running the music to put on Dream On, a song I was terrified of singing to be honest. All of a sudden I thought it was a brilliant idea though. After I was done with that I went back to Brian and asked for whiskey. Tyler looked kind of freaked out but I ignored it. After I did a few shots of what I assumed was the hard stuff because it was god awful taste and smell. I was even more all over the place when someone was singing a club type song I hopped on a bar and started fist pumping.As I felt the effects wearing off a few hours later, after doing several lines; I went back to Brian and asked for more.

"I'm all out of it I have some more back at the house if you want to go back."

I nod and look around for Collins who already was convinced I was on something. With her not in sight I grabbed his hand and drag him out quickly.In the car we talked about life, as we pulled up to his house Faithfully by Journey came on and I started crying and rambling on about how no one ever loved me in a romantic way.Brian kissed me and I kissed back immediately with passion.

As I started playing with his hair he said, "We need to go do this in the house in case anyone sees."

I nod and we walk in.

As soon as we got inside I was thrown against a wall and our making out intensified. He started grabbing my breasts and I got a little nervous for the first time since starting my fun. I ignored my feelings until he ripped off my shirt and started sucking on my nipples. Suddenly he picks me up and moves me to the bedroom, him on top of me on the bed. My bad feelings couldn't be ignored anymore after his shirt and pants were off I started screaming as he jammed his fingers into my vagina; not only out of pain but because I was terrified. I try to get him off and try to kick him. This resulted in him making me give him oral sex.He thrusted in and out of me forcefully; me gagging every second. Just as my face began to turn blue he took it out. Relieved, I tried to curl up in a ball wanting it to be over but he soon released my arms and forced himself into me. I almost passed out from the sheer pain. Eventually he stops as I feel something release. He rolls over grabbing me with his arms falling asleep as if we just made love; expecting me to cuddle. Unable to take it anymore I pass out from exhaustion

My flashback came back and I see Lauren in front of me asking what's wrong. Not being able to say anything paralyzed by emotion, I can't breathe and that's when tears hit me. All this time I thought it was sex, but there was no passion and no love involved.Tears and shakes can't be controlled and I draw my arms to my chest. What the hell is happening to me right now? My chest is tight and heavy while my body is numb and sweaty.Camila and the rest of the voices are trying to calm me down but instead I run into Lauren's bedroom. Slamming the door locking it, I go to the bathroom and get the blade I found earlier trying to feel anything but whatever this is.

---

I remember slicing my body but not totally blacking out because of it. All I know is Demi has arrived and splashed water on my face after cleaning and bandaging me up.She screams my name trying to stop me out of my trance. I ask her what's going on and her eyes got huge. She gets up and walks out of the room and soon I fall back asleep but someone picks me up.

I say, "This cannot be good for the baby," jokingly.

I hear a deep Spanish voice talking below me. Wilmer, how lovely. I let my body stay rather limp exhausted from before. I'm been placed in the back of a car, Demi sitting with me as well as Wilmer driving.

I ask, "Are we going to the hospital?"

She shakes her head.

"Am I going to a shrink?"

She gives me a stern look, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Not knowing I shrug and she starts crying and Wilmer says, "You have to relax mija. She obviously just went through something let's just go home and talk about it tomorrow."

"You're not taking me to Dianna's?" I asked curiously

"She is out somewhere filming and no one will be able to watch you."

I nod after more silence we eventually get back to dummies and I'm led into a bedroom. Demi changes me because Lauren's PJs are now bloody. I fall asleep in her arms.

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