60: Vren

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The kid — Zachary — gave me a locket.

"You're in there," he told me while handing me the last gift he received from his mom.

I opened Bella's locket, the very same one I gave her for our second anniversary. It revealed two tiny photos — one was mine, and the other was Zac's. We were both smiling happily in the pictures.

"Is Mommy really gone?" Zac asked slowly, tears still streaming down his cheeks.

I nodded and wiped his face dry before taking a moment to stare at him. He looked an awful lot like Bella. If Zac really is my kid — which, apparently, he is — then the only thing he inherited from me was my height. He's a lot taller than most six-year-olds.

"Are you my daddy?" he asked again. There was an unmistakable glimmer of hope in his voice.

I gave him another affirmative nod. I knew that I couldn't just declare Zac as my son without solid proof, but I couldn't really see any other possibility. Every little detail I could recall fits perfectly.

I wouldn't exactly call what happened between me and Bella a "mistake", yet I also wouldn't deny that it wasn't part of the plan. And the result of that unexpected encounter between me and my then-girlfriend now stood in front of me.

"I still can't believe Bella kept Zac from us," Tita Ivana said from behind me, jarring me out of my thoughts.

"Me neither," I replied. "How could she do this to us?"

Tita Ivana didn't say anything. And just as well, because let's face it — nobody but Bella herself could explain why she raised Zac alone, leaving me and her parents in the dark. Unfortunately, she's no longer here to shed light on her reasoning.

Is this kid the reason why Bella left me? I couldn't help but wonder. What an foolhardy thing to do.

She could've just easily told me about the baby — we both got decent jobs, we're already of age, and we're in love. Very much in love. We could've just got married and started building a family of our own. Had that happened, Zac would undoubtedly have a sibling or two by now.

Everything would have been different, if only Bella didn't keep Zac from me.

For one, I would have never even met Mira.

Oh, good Lord, I thought as I suppressed a groan. How am I supposed to tell Mira about Zac? My girlfriend would be livid.

But no matter what Mira's reaction would be, I couldn't just run away from my responsibilities as Zac's father. The kid had already spent six years without a father figure. Wala akong balak na dagdagan pa iyon.

Jesus. Who would have thought that I'd already be greeted a "Happy Father's Day" this coming June? I certainly didn't.

Never in a million years did I expect to be an instant dad. And what's even more terrifying for me was the prospect of telling Mira about this life-changing surprise. Knowing my girlfriend, just the very thought of me sharing a child with Bella would kill her. Or get me killed — whichever came first.

I sighed, deciding to set aside my Mira-related worries for later. After all, there's still Zac to deal with now.

"Remember when Bella ran away from the hospital?" Tita Ivana began, breaking the silence. "She must have visited Zac."

I silently agreed, having already figured that out even before she did. There's just no sensible reason why a dying woman would risk her life and escape from the hospital she's confined in, except to see her only child. It's no coincidence that Zac's right arm was bandaged when Mira and I met him, just a day after Bella's escape from AMMC.

Everything's starting to make sense... except for the fact that Bella left me a child without so much as a single notice.

"Do I get to take care of Zac, Tita?" I asked Bella's mom, trying to keep the nervousness in my voice at bay. Truth be told, it still felt like someone just sucker-punched me. Dealing with children from, let's say, Angels' Cradle every once in a while is one thing. Being a father to my very own son is a different kind of situation altogether.

"There's no need for you to shoulder all the responsibilities, hijo," Tita Ivana replied after some moments of pondering. "Zac can stay here."

Relief washed over me as I faced the kid once more. "Zac, will you be okay staying with..."

"Grandma," Tita Ivana supplied with a hint of amusement.

I cleared my throat. "Yeah. Is that alright with you, kiddo?"

Zac nodded.

"Okay. I, uh..."

"Daddy," Tita Ivana chimed in once more. This time, she was clearly trying not to laugh. It was a weird sight, given how her face was still shining with tears she hadn't even bothered wiping off.

"That's right." I could feel my own face burning with embarrassment. It's stupid, but I found the D-word really hard to get out. "Daddy will just deal with something," I continued, thinking how that 'something' was actually my girlfriend, "but I'll be visiting you every now and then. Sounds good?"

Zac nodded again. Then, to my surprise, he closed the gap between us and gave me a hug. "Please come back soon, Daddy," he said.

"Of course, buddy," I answered, returning his hug. "Be a good boy here, alright? Daddy will be back soon."

****

I drove back to Medialink with a soon-to-be skull-splitting headache. There's no question that the immensity of what I just learned was the trigger for it.

Bella and I have a child together.

I lost count of how many times I silently repeated this, hoping that the reiteration would help with my process of acceptance. Pero kahit makailang ulit ako sa isip ko ay hirap na hirap pa rin akong tanggapin na sa isang iglap lang ay nagbago na ang buhay ko — na sa isang iglap ay nagkaroon ako ng anak.

And as for the bitter cherry on top, I still had no idea on how to break this news to my girfriend. I could only hope that Mira would not react the way I expected her to. And frankly, my expectation was not at all good.

All I know was I can't afford to lose Mira. I just can't.

Yet I was perfectly aware that I wasn't in the position to demand this time. I just had to brace myself for whatever else was coming my way.

If Mira would be her usual understanding self and accept Zac's permanent presence in my life, then I could easily call myself the luckiest man alive. But if she reacts the other way around...

Only one thing was for sure — Zac's existence would break my girlfriend's heart.

I could only hope it won't break us apart.

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