World Tour

Paris: concert

Another night, another dark set of wings to wait in. But this time there was no exhilaration, because Eddy knew the auditorium was half full and he felt like a complete failure. 
Why had they ever thought they could pull this off, again? And who was he, exactly, to stand on that stage, given the fact he could barely play the fucking violin in the first place? 
Brett shot him a knowing look.
¨Come on, Eddy, this is not on us and you know it.¨
Eddy looked at him. ¨Do we?¨
¨Yes!¨ Brett said with conviction. ¨We do. And we're just going to play this show as best we can for the people that are  there.¨
¨You're right¨, Eddy said. ¨They deserve the best of us.¨

And with that the applause came, and the show went on, as it always does. 

Of course, the audience had loved the show, and the meet and greet was not much less hectic than it had been before. 
Eddy's heart wasn't in it though. Of course, he excelled in chatting, making jokes and being pleasant with everyone and he would not disappoint anyone. 
But really he just wanted to be in their hotel room with the duvet over his head. 
He was also suddenly bone tired. 
Brett shot him one of his worried looks, and Eddy could tell that he knew exactly what was going on in his head.
Wasn't exactly the first time he'd met insecure Eddy. 

When they finally got to walk to the hotel Eddy was silent the whole way, and Brett didn't push it. 

He waited to speak until they were safely in their hotel room, where no one could see them anymore, their public Twoset image safe and sound.
Eddy had plopped himself into one of the chairs and was staring out the window into the dark Paris night. 
¨Eddy, my love. I know you think you suck right now, but you don't. You really don't. You played amazingly well and you were very funny. Just focus on how happy the audience were, okay?¨
Eddy eyed him wearily. 
¨Thank you, Brett. I wish I could feel that, but I can't, right now. I did everything I could, but it just wasn't enough.¨
¨It was plenty, for the people who were there, Eddy. They loved it. Please think of that, instead of the rest, okay? Focus on them.¨
Eddy shook his head slightly. 
¨I'll try. I'll feel more positive in the morning. You okay though?¨
Brett thought for a moment. 
¨Not really. But hey. Shit happens.¨
After a minute he added, hesitantly:
¨I'm taking it we're not calling Australia tonight?¨
Eddy felt like a weakling, but he knew he couldn't face it, not right now. 
¨Nah. Sorry. Not up to any more rejection tonight¨
¨Okay¨, Brett said. ¨Neither am I, to be honest. Look, there's no rush. I'm sure Sophie can be trusted. We'll just do it when we're both feeling up to it, okay?¨
¨Okay.¨

Brett was suddenly very close to Eddy, he took his hand and pulled him up into a big bear hug.
He kissed him sweetly on the forehead.
¨In that case, can we please go to bed and make love and forget all about this concert?¨

Eddy wasn't sure how he felt about that, he really just wanted to say nothing and do nothing and try and recover his self esteem in peace. But as Brett kissed Eddy in earnest now, Eddy felt the fire ignite in him and he knew that making love to his boyfriend was actually exactly what he needed. 
So instead of answering he pushed Brett onto the bed and lay down beside him, pulling him in for a deeper kiss.