Viciously in Love

Twenty eight.

Song for this chapter: Head Above Water - Avril Lavigne

A week. It's been only a week since I got the worst news of my life. I've cried this week more than I've cried my entire life. I barely even got out of my room, not to mention my bed. A week, Jake didn't leave me out of his sight. Not even now.

   I'm standing in front of the mirror in my bed room and I don't like what I'm seeing. There is nothing wrong with me, I just don't like what I'm seeing. The jeans that fitted me perfectly a few weeks ago, are now loose. The dark blue colored sweater is loose too and it also makes me look pale.

   A few weeks ago it looked just fine.

   "Stop staring." Jake comes in front of me. "You look great for someone who cried for an entire week." he jokes.

   I smile and roll my eyes. I smiled a lot in the past week because of him. Everytime he was around - which was often - he tried to make me smile. He tried everything.

   "Can we go?" he asks and I nod.

   I grab my backpack and leave the room letting him close the door behind us.

   "It will be fine."

   He tucks my hair behind my ear and kisses my forehead softly, making it seem like he's scared he'll break me. He thinks I'm fragile. I don't blame him. I think so too.

   *

   Jake parks the car in front of the school and then, without saying anything else he loosens his seatbelt and gets out of the car. But I don't move. I look at my friends and I feel the tears crolling back to me. I can't do this. Damn it, I can't!

   Jake opens the car door again and sighs.

"What did I tell you?"

"Jake..."

   "No Jake. I asked you to stop crying."

I look at him and I bite my lip trying to respect his wish.

"I'm sorry, it's just..." I try to say but I can't finish my sentence because I look at my friends again and I see Kelly looking at us.

"Just what?" he asks getting back in the car.

"They don't know. How am I supposed to tell them?" I ask and he sighs. "You saw how my parents reacted. I can't do that to them. I can't..."

"Then don't." he interrupts me. "Don't tell them now. Tell them whenever you're ready. Or not at all. It's your life, your decision." he smiles and grabs my hand. "Ok?"

"Ok." I sigh and I smile him back.

"You know I'm here, right?" he asks and I nod. "If you ever need anything, just come find me. Ok?"

"I promise. You'll be the first person I will go to." I say making him smile.

I love that smile.

   *

   I look at him just to make sure he's there. He's looking at me to make sure I'm ok. And I really am. I didn't even realize how much I missed these moments. The football team is doing the worm up just a few steps away from us. Some of the girls around me are looking at them drooling, and some others are gossiping - of course, about them.

"Are you ok?" Kelly asks me laughing. "You seem hypnotized."

I don't get to answer her because the couch interrupts us. We gather around her and I mentally prepare myself for a lecture from her. I was gone a whole week. I don't think she will just overlook it. But I don't mind it. I'm used to being lectured for meaningless things. My mom used to do that all the time. Everytime I did something bad she would lecture me - crazy mad about it - for hours then she wouldn't talk to me for days, sometimes even weeks. The only thing dad did was to mock her for taking things so seriously - and surprisingly he was the one who always placated her. He used to call her obsessive and a crazy old lady.