Immortal City

Chapter 39

Chapter 39
Confession

Daimon Clyde has already left.

Kanina pa siya nakaalis, kanina pa tumila ang ulan, kanina pa rin ako nakababad sa bathtub ko at hindi mapakali dahil sa nangyari kanina. Hindi ko mapigilang mamula sa tuwing naaalala ko ang nangyari, at ngayon ay binabalot na naman ako ng sobrang kahihiyan.

He kissed me. And he did more than just kiss me.

But what I'm mostly embarrassed of is how willingly I responded to him. Kanina. Dahil kung mauulit ngayon ang mga nangyari kanina, hindi ko na alam kung saan ako kukuha ng tapang at lakas ng loob. Kapag inaalala ko ang mga ginawa niya sa akin at mga ginawa ko sa kanya, parang gusto ko nalang magpalamon sa lupa.

Every time I close my eyes for too long, I instantly remember his touch—how he touched me, where he touched me. And I feel myself heat up from both embarrassment and longing. Kung ano ang mas nakakalamang, iyon ang hindi ako sigurado.

I rinse myself for the last time, also clearing my mind. Now that I regain my focus, I notice something I didn't before.

Oh my god.

Are these— Fuck.

Dali-dali akong umahon sa tubig at agad na humarap sa salamin. Muntikan pa akong madulas pero mabilis akong nakahawak sa lababo. I look at my reflection and that's when I fully see the extent of what he's done.

Hickeys.

I'm covered in hickeys.

Three... six... seven... there are too many to count.

Oh, for crying out loud, Daimon Clyde! I did not ask for this!

Bakit ang dami? How do I get rid of these? Fuck, how do I even hide these? Mayroon sa leeg ko, sa dibdib ko, sa balikat ko, sa braso ko, sa tiyan ko. I even see one on my thigh and now I'm a little scared to find out where else he placed a mark on my body.

I know my uniform won't be able to hide the ones on my neck and the underside of my jaw. Isang araw na lang may pasok na ulit kami. I swear I'm going to hit Daimon Clyde! Paano ko 'to itatago?

Maybe makeup? But I don't own any and I don't know how to use cosmetics. Hindi ko naman pwedeng ipaalam 'to kay Mama. Who knows what will happen if she finds out her daughter made out with a guy?

Luna won't be able to help me either. Pareho lang kaming walang alam sa makeup.

Kung si Ione naman— Si Lucienne!

Oo, tama. Si Lucienne ang pinaka maaasahan ko sa ganitong bagay.

Mabilis akong nagpunas ng katawan at lumabas ng banyo para magbihis. Pagkatapos ay inutusan ko si Rina na tawagan si Lucienne. I hear her voice after a few seconds.

"Celestine," sabi ni Lucienne sa kabilang linya. "This is the first time you called me. I'm guessing this is important?"

"Uhh, s-somehow." How do I tell Lucienne I called her because of hickeys? It sounds so stupid. "I—I need advice on... on w-wearing makeup."

"Uhuh. And for what? I'm sure you didn't call me just for that."

"A-Ahh, ano kasi—may ano, m-may tatakpan lang a-ako." Ugh, this is so difficult!

"Tatakpan? Ang alin? You gotta tell it to me straight, hon, or else I won't be able to help."

I can't do this after all. "You know what, bukas nalang. Hindi naman 'to gano'n ka-importante."