Property of a Gordon

Chapter Forty One

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Chapter Forty One

When I'd been nothing but a girl who lived with her parents instead of being a Protector, shifting was well known for being forbidden. I remembered doing so when I was younger only for my parents to scold viciously at me until I burst into tears and ran to the sanctuary of my room.

After that, I never shifted again. It became a lingering yearning that I could graze with the tips of my fingers but never fully grasp. I eventually stopped complaining and tried forgetting about it, but the longing was always there.

It was probably part of the reason I agreed so easily to such a risky dare that ended with me being caught. I wanted to experience what the world had to offer at my fullest and prove myself to my drunken friends. It was the perfect solution, or it'd looked like one.

Here at the palace, I was granted the opportunity to shift as I pleased without screamed words exploding in my ear or the fear of being captured by the unknown. Yet, I seemed to wear my skin more than I did my pelt.

But now, after Kendall's decision in a heated moment, I was covered in a coat of pristine fur from day to night. I couldn't help but start to hate the padding of my paws or the way my coat only seemed to weigh me down.

They said we continuously longed for something, pursuing it to indescribable lengths, yet the moment it was finally securely within our grasp, it no longer held its mesmerizing appeal. It no longer shined and winked at us, causing sporadic twitches from the frenzied desires we used to hold dear to it. People were creatures of bottomless greed, and it seemed like I was no better.

I was sitting in Kendall's office with him, but I may as well have been alone. When I'd walked in after being escorted by the guards, he didn't even glance in my direction. I tried to selfishly grab his attention, my attempts more obvious than subtle, but each one was ignored and met with thick silence.

I thought maybe Kendall would wear down and at least acknowledge me, but it was the day prior to the ball and he hadn't even done that. I wasn't sure which part caused him to sever us from one another. Was it the act of betrayal itself, or that the act was committed with someone I used to share my personal life with?

There was a knock on the door and my ears perked, glad for any type of excitement at this point in time. My brain was wondering too far, much too far, and I didn't find myself enjoying it.

"Come in," Kendall said simply, not bothering to look up from the papers but instead kept writing and reading.

The door opened and Lance walked in, carefully closing it as not to disturb his precious Prince. He stood away from the door, but not close enough to Kendall to be an annoyance.

"The first pair of guests has arrived. They would like you to personally escort them," Lance said, and I tensed.

I didn't even realize there was a deep growl building in my chest at his words. I hated the idea of the ball more than ever, and I would give anything to keep his "guest" away from him.

"Enough," Kendall snapped without meeting my eyes. My fur bristled at the one word, and my eyes turned into slits as the growls subsided.

Lance seemed confused, but he didn't allow Kendall to see. He wanted to remain Kendall's lap dog, which meant he kept his nose out of where it didn't belong. But I could see his eyes flickering between Kendall and me.

"Has the reward been offered?" Kendall asked, managing to wipe both myself and his "guest" from the conversation with a few words.

"Yes, Your Highness, it has. The public has been made aware of the incident and seems eager to be involved," Lance replied, and I huffed at his comment.

Kendall had told the guards to fetch Nolan, dead or alive, and they'd come back empty-handed. Nolan was long gone, and I wouldn't be surprised if he knew about his punishment and escaped for that reason. I would've done the exact same thing.

So Kendall decided to do the next best thing and place a bounty on Nolan's head, enlisting the public's help. The reward was worth more than the house I grew up in . Heck, it was more than I would ever be worth.

So now, Kendall had a good sum of people scouting the streets for Nolan, which I knew, without a doubt, was pointless. I knew him enough to know he wasn't stupid, but a master of disguise.

"Good. Escort my Protector back to her quarters, then meet me here," Kendall ordered, and I huffed, refusing to move when Lance opened the door, waiting for me.

He cleared his throat and Kendall finally looked up, his cool eyes looking straight at me. There was no expression in his eyes but the distant, frosted look he gave his employees. I couldn't help but feel disappointment lightly dipped in anger.

"I cannot have my Protector scaring off valuable guests, and I do not see a situation where you would potentially handle it well. Therefore, I will not need you for this," Kendall explained, fueling my anger.

I growled at him, walking out, and Lance was wise enough to back away as I stormed past him. I didn't bother to check if he was following or not because I didn't care.

By the time Lance opened my door for me with sympathy in his eyes and I shifted, I was visibly shaking. I could feel my skin crawling anxiously, itching to do something, to get away. If I stayed, I would follow Kendall discretely before attacking his damn female "guests."

I found myself throwing on clothes and darting out of the castle, ignoring the open stares. Escape was within the air, and I wanted more than anything to find comfort in it.

I don't really remember the journey there, but I was suddenly in the garden, surrounded by a breathtaking contrast of colors with the flowers' fragrances riding lightly upon the near nonexistent breeze.

I could feel myself calming down, my body relaxing and uncurling itself. I should've expected this, and I did, but why was I so tense; why did I care so much?

It was because I stupidly cared what the egotistic bastard thought of me. I wanted to see him smile, see those amused blue eyes sparkle at me, and hear his deep laugh. I wanted to see him realize he belonged to me only and for him to be proud of the fact.

It didn't make me lovesick or dependent on Kendall. I could flourish without him easily. The problem was that I didn't want to. I still wanted him in my life, as pathetic as it was. I hated it, more than I realized.

Life before Kendall, when all I had were my parents and friends, seemed to be both meaningless and wasteful. Here, with Kendall, I was actually doing something productive with my life. I had something new to look forward to, something different to experience.

If Kendall remained this way, fine. I could learn to be happy without him. I didn't need him in my life for that. But I wasn't quite ready to give him up.

I stood there for a few moments before I finally decided it was time to head back to the palace and try apologizing once again. I'd try finding Kendall and tell him I was sorry and that I cared for him more than we both knew, but I knew it wouldn't change anything in that moment. However, I was willing to wait.

Or, that was what I thought I'd do, anyways. Life didn't seem to agree with me because as I was heading back, a hand slipped around both my neck and waist before someone began attempting to quiet me.

I tried fighting, to do anything within my power, but I didn't think any of it worked because the whole world went black within a short time.