When I First Met You (Zayn Fanfic) (COMPLETED)

Your PoV

Finally, I get to meet Zayn today. I know it's going to be really awkward. But, I have to get that journal back. Okay, I could've just told him to throw it in trash. But, something made me want to see him. I watched all their video dairies, and my heart would do flips when Zayn spoke. I know they are so old, but it's worth watching. Zayn finally has a break from tour, only 3 days though. I check the clock once again. It was 4 now, he'd be here in 30 minutes since I couldn't leave the house still. I run up the stairs, and wash my face, and brush my teeth. I tame my wild hair, and throw on some fresh clothes. I wear sweat pants, and a sweat shirt, it was slowly getting cold.

*ding-ding*

Did I really take that long? I walk down the steps, and open the door to Zayn standing before me. He's wearing black skinnys, with a leather jacket, and his quiff isn't made. He's hot.

"Hi, y/n." He says shyly.

"Hi." I say awkwardly.

"Um, would you like to come in?" I say opening the door wider.

"Uh..sure." He walks in, and I close the door.

"Here you go." He says handing my familiar journal back. I take it from him gently.

"Thank you." I say softly.

"Yeah, I should get going." Zayn says.

I don't say anything, I open my journal. I feel the pages before me, scanning through them.

"This isn't me, you know." I say catching him off guard.

"Excuse me?" He says.

"What you read? That isn't me anymore. I'm pretty sure you read it. I would've. But, those words, those emotions aren't me anymore. I always wished to die. Now? I'm afraid of dying."

"Wasn't your fault. You didn't ask for this." He says, you could hear a slight annoyance in his voice. This makes me feel hurt.

"I didn't ask to fall for you did I? I didn't ask to die! I didn't ask for my dad to leave! I didn't ask for you to show me you care. Because in reality, those are all just lies." I spit angrily at him.

He looks down at his feet, then out the window.

"Y/n, I didn't mean it like that. I just..I just don't know. Like I can't explain it right. I'm lost. I'm like afraid."

"Of what? What's so terrifying?"

"You wouldn't understand." He says grabbing the door knob.

"Try me." I challenge.

"I'm terrified of loosing you." He says before walking out. I stand in the position he left me in.

The sound of the door closing brings me back to reality.

I'm terrified of loosing you.

His words echo in my mind.

I rush to the door, dropping my journal, and I see him walking away.

"You don't have to be." I yell.

He turns around, and half smiles.

"I already did." He says before getting into a black vehicle.

"I'm afraid of loosing you too." I whisper for only me to hear. I close the door, and pick up the journal that lied on the floor.

I hug the journal close to me, and walk up the stairs to my room.

I sit on the bed by the window sill. The clouds are forming again, this makes me cringe. Whenever a sad thing happens, rain has to fall. I open my journal re-reading the words I once wrote. I look at my scars, they mock me. I feel a tear slip from my eyes, next thing I know I'm bawling. I grab my teddy bear, and hold it close. Why does God have to punish me? Why does the bad thing happen to good people? I read Zayn's tweet.

Notifications from Twitter

"@zaynmalik if you love something you must let go, if it comes back to you, it was meant to be."

I close my eyes, Zayn's letting me go now.

Maybe it's time to stop living that fairy tale, I once believed in.