The Daydreamer - A Werewolf Novel [Taylor Swift Playlist]

The Daydreamer - Chp 18 [The Other Side Of The Door]

~I said leave/But all I really want is you to stand outside my window throwing pebbles screaming I'm in love with you/Wait there in the pouring rain coming back for more/And don't you leave/Cause I know all I need is on the other side of the door~

Silently he led me down the hall walking in front of me. His shoulders were tense and his hands by his side rigid not once speaking or glancing at me. Yet I didn't expect any better, I had screwed up, again. I was hoping he'd realise soon that he was better off mateless yet I was also still hoping that he could look past this new and heightened blunder. Yet his anger was telling me that yeah, maybe I have pushed it too far.

The hall wasn't lit as usual; this area wasn't occupied in the slightest. Following in behind Jace I walked into the room that was meant to be where I slept since Aunt Lilly realised I wasn't going back to Mamma's for multiple reasons. The hospital was fine by it though I suppose it didn't bother them since I didn't use the room.  I couldn't remember the last time I had slept nor when I had bathed, laughed or even spoken.

Until Jace showed up. And how my heart faltered, after everything that was going on and him being mad at me and all, my body still reacted to him and my heart still pounded erratically. I love him, no matter what.

Jace crossed the room and opened the door to the bathroom gesturing me in our eyes still never meeting as sighing I grabbed my bags I still hadn't touched and walked into the bathroom. My hormones flared at the thought of him joining me but his already rigid stance made it hard to decipher if he felt my arousal. I couldn't feel anything.

He closed the door behind me and my stomach churned and twisted, I'd never felt so sickened as we stood on either side of the door, both broken. Because of me.

Fighting back tears I faced the white bathroom. What was it with hospitals and white?! The bathroom was tiny; a shower/bath, toilet and sink in the corner with a small mirror, the shower curtains white along with the tiles and walls. It was colourless and blinding.

Getting my toiletries I ran the shower and crept into the bath leaving the water running. I held back tears as I cleaned myself harshly scrubbing layers and layers of the guilt off me, though it never seemed to leave. My skin was red raw and sensitive though none the less cleaned and as cleansed as it could get. Reluctantly I crept out and wrapped the small white towel around me as I searched my bags for clothes. Nothing was clean or warm, most of my clothes still at Jace's. I needed to shop. Muttering sarcastically underneath my breath I grabbed some pyjama pants and a loose black singlet. Sitting on the edge of the bath I dried my hair weakly not caring in the slightest as I stalled. I didn't want to go out there and face Jace's anger, the reality of the circumstances.

Keeping my gaze down I dumped my bags and as soon as the sickening sound of the bathroom's door reached my ears I ran for the bed pulling the sheets over my head and burying my head in the pillow gasping breathlessly. It was so painful. Everything within me was breaking. I kept the tears back though as I listened to the shower running my breath easing back into a quick walk. I looked at the small white room with only a king sized single bed and the door leading into the bathroom with a small lamp on a table in the corner.

The minutes only felt like seconds until he came back out and I pretended to be asleep not even daring to look up at him. I knew I wouldn't like what I'd see. Sighing he turned the lights off and left the room closing the door behind him.

I let the tears fall that, and I cried. I cried for Mamma, I cried for Aunt Lilly and my mother and I cried for Jace; all who I had hurt and wounded coming into their lives only to destroy them. I cried for what felt like hours until salt and a heavy weight hung on my faces skin and until I could cry no more. I was growing heavy and sleepy, knowing I could fall asleep I sat up so darkness couldn't invade me.

Shakily I reached out and pulled the curtains back to the only window that sat beside me on the wall, the side of the bed pushed up against the wall due to the room's small proximity. The sight was of a hideous brick apartment building that loomed equally as high as the hospital, a dark and eerie alley between the two dreary buildings. It was late, I gathered past or close to midnight as the cities lights danced like stars in the sky, I could see the car's lights dancing in the night distantly as I followed them until they disappeared. Looking further I looked into the sky and distantly deciphered stars, it was disappointing though compared to the country but it was as good as it was going to get.

I didn't know how long I sat there watching the stars but Jace bought me back as the door opened softly. I hadn't planned for us to come face to face again, either expecting him to not come back or for me to hear him and to pretend I was asleep again like a chicken.

His eyes grew slightly as I just stared at him nervously and warily holding myself back. "I thought you were asleep." He said softly his anger and hate hidden in his emotionless voice.

Instantly I began to feel sick as my eyes drew wet. I didn't know what was worse what would await me if I sleep or what was before me that was falling apart. "I can't. If I-...I don-...I can't." I stuttered my voice wavering as I thought what awaited me if I closed my eyes. Why was I always so weak and pathetic?

He looked at me intently making me wonder if he could tell I had been crying since his departure. Grimacing with a sigh he crept across the small room and pulled back the sheets as he stood in trackies and a top. He didn't remove them like usual as he slid into the bed, he avoided touching me and he closed his eyes. I could tell he hated this.

Sitting for many minutes I watched him warily as I practically hugged the cold white walls. "Go to sleep Em." He said his eyes still shut his tone still emotionless.

Doing as he said I wiggled into the bed keeping my distance as I watched his unmoving body in the dark except for his rising chest. This was utterly torturous! To be away from him for so long without his touch and now to be so close and unable to touch him in bathe in his warmth. It was punishment.  

It wasn't long before I was practically asleep but just before sleep invaded me I whispered something to Jace knowing he was still awake; "I'm sorry, I am so so sorry."

***

Rolling over in the middle of the night cold and shivering I wrapped my arms around Jace's warm torso snuggling closer against him. I realised my mistake but I was far too warm and gone to care as I drifted back to sleep.

________________________
Click the external link for my Facebook page
So you guys know my drill; vote, comment and maybe give me a fan, yeah? Do it, I dare you ;) Xx
-------------------------------------
All Rights Reserved
Copyrighted Material ©
-------------------------------------