The Daydreamer - A Werewolf Novel [Taylor Swift Playlist]

The Daydreamer - Chp 16 [The Outside]

~How can I ever try to be better/nobody ever lets me in/and I can still see you/this aint the best view/on the outside looking in/I've been a lot of lonely places/I've never been on the outside~

"Now little one, so much as make a sound or a movement and you'll know you get it worst." I clenched my eyes shut pushing all my surroundings away searching for that unreachable happy place. I didn't fight anymore, I learnt from that by now that there was no escape.

His rough cold hands pushed the inside of my shorts up slowly as if knowing that it was that which tortured me the most, his touch making me tense, my breath hitch and multiple shivers to be suppressed. I could feel and smell his stale alcoholic breath that scorched my skin.

I was tensed and prepared; my hands behind my back so he couldn't see my clenched fists as I clawed at my palm to fight for stiffness. Oh god no, not the leg I whimpered internally.

His rough hands ran up and down my thigh and then I felt it as he grounded the blade into my flesh and dragged it up, the feel of the cool blade as it came out more painful and making a sick sucking sound. I clenched my eyes shut tighter biting my entire bottom lip almost cutting it also, my hands shook behind my back as I dug my nails so much it drew blood.

I felt the knife "There's one eye." He said happily as if drawing on paper instead of skin. I kept my eyes shut praying it would finally be over, that this time he'd finally kill me this time like mum. "And another." He murmured dragging the blade down again in a different spot. Now I could taste the blood from my lip. Oh god please end. "Now the smile." He said excitedly almost childishly. It seared and I could feel the thick heavy blood falling to a puddle on the floor. I didn't know how I was going to hide this one. I held back the pain.

It wasn't until the blade curled within my flesh and pulled up in my skin sharply as he said "And up." That I screamed, the scream of agony smashing off the walls and piercing all.

***

I clutched my chest panting and sweating profusely as I sat up in bed. I was basically hyperventilating at the thought of my past haunting my dreams. Putting my head in my knees I tried to steady my breathing which was impossible as my body convulsed with shivers. Feeling dirty I stumbled weakly towards the shower.

I hadn't had such dreams for a while. They stopped a year or so after Aunt Lilly took me in and once I knew he was behind bars. I knew Aunt Lilly's call was the cause behind the dream and it drained me knowing there were more to come, especially without Jace.

I slumped back down on the bed, it was still dark outside and although I was exhausted I wasn't going back to bed. Instead I did what I always did; read, drew, day dreamed; the usual.

"Hey you! Get off the bed and quit your sulking. We're going shopping." Mel called by my doorway saving me from my thoughts. I looked up smiling weakly with appreciation and before I knew it I was in the car with Mel and Gemma heading into town.

I realized as we hit town with only my wallet that I actually did need clothes. So I shopped and browsed giving me a distraction. I even purchased some lacey lingerie seeing as I have someone to show off to, Mel even purchased some too. She hobbled along with, to my amazement, excitement and energy. We even looked at baby clothes for Mel's little one yet never purchasing; apparently they wanted the sex to be a surprise. We shopped, gossiped and got to know each other more. Even Gemma spoke freely, her shell breaking.

"How do you guys do it?" I asked astounded as sadly the day grew to an end and we stopped out front of the Indigo's house, my new home. I didn't want to go back in there with my thoughts which I'd so easily avoided beforehand.