Actions Speak Louder Than Words (A One Direction Fan Fiction)

Chapter Twenty-Eight

That night I stared at my ceiling, wide awake, trying to decide what the best thing to do was. I made a list of pros and cons for all of my options and weighed everything up that way. My options were to go to him and get back together and hope he’d take me back; break up with him completely; or stay “on a break”. Okay well the second option was booted off the list fairly quickly, that was an impossibility. The third then I decided would get me, us nowhere, I was just going to be stuck in this situation for a very long time if I didn’t do something about it. After all, the ball was in my court, I made the mess so I was going to have to clean it. So then I was left with the first option and so that’s what I was going to do; I was going to go tell him that I fucked up and hope he’d take me back.

I knocked nervously on Niall’s front door, hoping he’d answer and that I wouldn’t have to deal with awkward conversation with any of the rest of his family. It was 10:00 in the morning, Niall was probably still in bed. I had woken up at half eight after about 4 hours sleep, I had been too built up with nerves. At half nine I decided it was a decent enough time to leave.

The seconds ticked by and I grew more and more anxious each second I was left standing on his porch.

Suddenly the door handle shifted and I was greeted by a sleepy looking Niall.

“Jennifer?!” he exclaimed looking quite taken aback.

“Ehm…hi…” I muttered, looking at my hands that were feeling quite sweaty all of a sudden.

We stood there for a few moments in what I think was stunned silence.

Niall shook his head.

“Sorry, do you want to come in?” he half smiled.

I glanced at his eyes and smiled weakly, nodding.

I slowly walked through to the kitchen, thank God it was empty, seems we had the house to ourselves.

“So… what brings you here?” Niall smiles broadly, trying to lighten the mood I think.

I immediately gained my confidence to say what I had come to say.

“Niall, I was wrong, I fucked up really badly and I’m so so sooo sorry and I came here to ask, to see if there’s any chance you’d take me back again?! Because I’ve been so lost without you, you wouldn’t even begin to understand how lost I am without you, you mean the world to me! And from what I’ve heard you’re not doing too well lately either and I guess there’s a part of me that really hopes you’re not doing well because you don’t have me. But If you’re doing fine without me, just tell me and I’ll leave right away. I may cry myself to sleep for the rest of my life because of it but if that’s how you feel then I’d be happy! So please be honest with me and tell me if I still have a chance?!”

Wow, I was panting, I had said that whole speech in one breath and I felt like I was after running the marathon. I didn’t even know what I had said, the words just came gushing from my mouth with no thought at all. I really hoped it had made sense to Niall and that I didn’t look like a fool.

Niall’s lip twitched up into a slight grin after spending what felt like forever, probably deliberating his thoughts on my speech.

“Firstly, I know completely how lost you feel, because I’ve been feeling the exact same if not worse.” He took a small step closer.

Oh my heart, he felt the same?! If not worse??!!

“Secondly, did you practise that speech because it sounded like you were rattling off a piece of poetry or something.” This time he was really grinning as he took another slow step towards me.

Inside I wanted to laugh but I was stunned on the outside so I couldn’t process any kind of emotion to my face.

“And thirdly…” he whispered taking the last step to close the gap between us.

Now I was close enough to touch him, but I still couldn’t move. Niall brought his two hands up to the sides of my face. Just his touch made me tremble and made my stomach do somersaults and belly flops! He gazed into my eyes, stroking my cheek lightly and I got lost in his blue eyes, I lost track of time, I don’t know if it was seconds, minutes or hours that went by looking into his eyes, I couldn’t process any thoughts whatsoever. Then Niall’s face was coming and closer and closer to mine and before I knew it, his lips were on top of mine. I didn’t know what to do at first, but soon enough my natural instinct kicked in and I kissed him back, bringing my arms up to his neck.

When I eventually gathered some activity in my brain, I pulled away from the kiss.

“What does this mean?” I asked quietly.

“It means I love you and I wish I’d never been so stupid to do something to upset you so much because I never ever want to lose you.” he was being so serious, it nearly scared me.

“Does that mean you’re taking me back again?”

“Jen, you never left my heart.” His voice was low and husky and he was beautiful, I loved this boy so much and I hated myself for thinking we’d be better off without one another for a while, because quite frankly, neither of us could survive for long without the other.

This time I leaned up to him, kissing his lips with as much passion as I could muster up, while entangling my fingers in his luscious blonde hair.

“Jennifer…” he mumbled through the kiss.

We stopped again. I looked at him questioningly.

“I swear, I promise, on my own heart and soul that I will never drink again, I will never do anything to make you feel like you need to leave me, even if that means giving up alcohol, then I’ll do it because you are much, much, much better than any drink!” this apology was so cute.

“Niall you don’t have to give up alcohol completely.” I stated, smiling weakly.

“Well Ms. Ryan said that I have an obsession and if I think I’m going to just have one drink, she thinks I’ll end up on the piss again and again, so I’m not going to take that chance.” He explained.

Now I felt bad.

“I feel like a bully now, but I’m just so worried about you, when you’re drunk, you pick fights and do silly things, I worry you’ll get yourself hurt. And I hated the way that instead of talking to me, or anybody else about your problems with school you got drunk to forget about it.” I explained my side.

“I know and I’m so sorry, I’m telling you I’ll never do it again and I swear if I ever have a problem again I’ll talk to you. It’s just the way I was, I was never a talker, but I’m going to change.” He seemed dead serious.

I nodded and smiled.

“I love you so much Niall Horan. We can fix anything if we stick together.” I said.

Niall pulled me into his chest, hugging me so tightly. I rested my head on his chest listening to the soft rhythm, of his heartbeat as he played with my hair.

“I love you Jennifer!” he whispered.

Getting loads up tonight! 

Waheey :)